b and amen

When you have bronchitis, you cough and cough and cough and cough. A LOT. Cruz coughed so much and so hard tonight that he gagged. And then he threw up. All over B and Amen.

B and Amen are his two security ‘blankets’. They aren’t actually blankets, but two stuffed animals. The little bear/blanket has a ‘B’ on the blanket part. So naturally, we started calling him ‘B’. The sleeping stuffed bear he named Amen. When you press his hand, he says a prayer and closes by saying, ‘Amen’. Well, he actually doesn’t say it anymore because he wore it out. But he used to. Regardless, B and Amen are very, VERY special to him.

So back to the gagging.

He gagged and threw up all over B and Amen. SO I had to wash them and I had to wash them FAST. It was almost 7:00pm when this incident occurred and he wouldn’t have been a happy camper if he couldn’t go to bed with B and Amen. He already was slightly distraught that he couldn’t lay with them on the couch watching TV. So I hurried and washed them in a full cycle. And when they came out, they both looked so squeaky clean that it made me a little nostalgic. So I had to take a picture of these two little stuffed animals that I will keep forever. And someday I’ll look back on them, and on this picture, and remember when he was so little and so sweet and so precious. And how B and Amen were very special to him.

What a sweet little guy.

happy mom’s day

Exactly two point five years ago, a little boy completely changed my life when he was born. Exactly eight months ago, another little boy completely changed my life AGAIN when he was born.

I didn’t really think that you could possibly love two children equally as each other. But I understand now.

These two little boys have been the light of my life over the course of these past couple years. And although being a mom really IS the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I wouldn’t change one single second of it. Cliche? Yes, I know. It is. But it’s true. I have never learned so much about myself, Jason, others, the world and God as I have since they’ve entered my life.

And although I’m typing this as I’m listening to them both NOT NAPPING LIKE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE, I realize that I am lucky. God has blessed me with two little boys and the ability to stay home with them and watch them grow.

Happy Mom’s Day to me. Happy Mom’s Day to ALL of you. You all deserve to feel special today. Because being a mom is hard. And we all deserve a little TLC.

* These photos were taken on location during a recent photo shoot with close friends of ours. We love taking the boys whenever appropriate and are fortunate for generous clients and friends who let us do so. Kristina, your pictures of YOUR boys and Kayla are to die for cute. I can’t wait for you to see them! It won’t be long!! xo

don’t rush

I always find myself wanting the boys, especially Rider, to hurry up and grow up. Not really grow up to be adults quickly or anything. But I often catch myself wishing for some aspects of the baby phase to be over. Am I normal for wanting it to breeze by sometimes? Am I a horrible mom for thinking that? Sometimes I feel like it. The truth is, I don’t really want them to grow up quickly. Not even one little bit. BUT, there are some aspects of the baby phase that I’m impatient about.

Rider will be 6 months old next week and he has YET to roll over. Well, he rolled over once. He can roll to his side and I KNOW he’s capable of rolling, he just has yet to do it. I definitely do not have a little rollie pollie on my hands. He hates tummy time. I mean, loathes it with a passion. Anytime I put him there, unless it’s first thing in the morning, he screams and fusses and cries until I move him. He’s rather be sitting in his bumbo seat or standing up in his saucer. He hasn’t figured out how to hold his bottle yet or sit up on his own either. He’s only belly laughed like, twice in his entire life while all other babies I know that are his age are laughing up a storm. I find myself comparing all Cruz’s milestones to where Rider is at and wondering, ‘What is going on?’. I find myself growing impatient and ready for him to gain a little more independence from me.

Yesterday, this thought process stopped me dead in my tracks. Someday- SOMEDAY- I am going to miss this phase so deeply. And I’m going to remember that all I wanted was for him to GROW UP ALREADY. How sad will that moment be? So, instead of worrying about why he isn’t hitting these milestones when the books say he should, I am choosing to RELAX about it already. Something that is very hard for me to do. But the truth is, I don’t want him to rush really. I want him to be his unique self and reach these milestones in his time and when he’s ready. No more rushing or pushing or comparing from me. I don’t want to look back and remember how I really did just wish the baby phase away. Yes, it’s hard. But it’s only here once. And then you blink, and it’s over. And he WILL gain his independence soon enough. And I’ll be wishing I could still swaddle him, cuddle him and that he couldn’t escape my embrace.

So, sweet boy. Don’t rush. Take your time. And when you roll or sit up or crawl or walk, I’ll be your cheerleader. And I’ll try to stop wishing this phase away and enjoy YOU right where you are at. For you are special, right in this very moment.

random for 2011

Oddly, I don’t have anything to really say at the moment. Weird. I’m having a weird week so far. We’ve been working and dreaming and planning A LOT lately. Some changes are coming down the way, and we are excited for them. I’m anxious for them to be in full swing. I’m missing certain people in my life. Reflecting a lot on where we were at this time last year. I miss my house in Gilbert, but only because we built it together and I miss being in a house. Other than that, I find myself being very content with where we are at.

It’s kind of refreshing because usually I struggle with being content.

But I have everything I need or could want mostly. Honestly.

And that’s where I’m at today. Are you finding that my blogs are all over the place with wherever my hormones are at in that moment? Yea. Me too. I still find myself waiting for the rollercoaster of emotions to contain themselves, I think.

Geesh. What a ride.

Oh and since I haven’t said it yet, Happy New Year! May 2011 not be as confusing as I am being right now!

cars

It’s obvious that Cruz loves cars. Most little boys love cars at some point in their lives, if not their entire lives. Cruz LOVES cars. My mom bought him some ‘roads’, as he calls it, and he just can’t get enough! He’s completely into Hot Wheels, and has more of these little cars than you can count! Pair that with the ‘roads’ and he’s set for hours. Lately he’s been asking me to sit at our dining room table with his ‘roads’ so he can play cars. It’s really fun to see him using his imagination already with these little cars. He’ll drive them around and make them ‘talk’ to one another. He can sit there for up to 30 minutes or longer if I let him.

He loves it.

I’m all about him letting him use his imagination to play! I just think it’s so funny that he loves doing this THAT much! Gotta love having little boys, with the Hot Wheels, Buzzlightyear’s, and monster trucks lying around the house!

past times

Lately I’ve really been working on tummy time with Rider. He’s starting to gain a lot of strength in his neck and I think he might even roll over soon! We will see. He laughed for the first time last week, and I actually caught it on video!! So, the milestones are really picking up now that he’s 3.5 months and I have to say, these are the things that I look forward to very much. I enjoy the newborn stage for certain things, but the truth of the matter is, is that it’s just really hard. It’s such a period of transition, adjustment and learning new things about yourself, baby and a whole new family dynamic. It’s a time of little sleep, lots of tears and also a lot of joy at the same time. It’s an amazing time, as it’s all new and exciting. But it’s just really hard. With Cruz and Rider both, once they hit about 3 months old is when I truly started really enjoying them. Is that bad to say? Their personalities just start coming through at that point and it starts to get really, really fun. And both of their sleep patterns got very consistent at about 3 months which obviously helps a lot.

That goes without saying.

So I’ve been giving Rider a lot of tummy time and he’s starting to notice his surroundings a lot! He smiles at Cruz (who is STILL trying to figure out his little brother) and he loves smiling and “talking” to Jason and I. It’s the best to hear his little coos and see his little smile. I love all the stages he’s about to hit. I honestly can’t wait for him to start crawling and walking.

Gosh it’s just really fun.

So that’s what we’ve been up to! Actually, truth be told, we’ve been up to A LOT more than that lately. Jason has been UBER busy so I’ve played “single mommy” roll a lot lately. He obviously helps tremendously when he’s home, but tis the season for him to be gone a lot with work etc. So we are all pretty tired and I haven’t even started Christmas shopping yet. People that are done shopping before Thanksgiving are my heros. I’ve just never been that ambitious I guess! Ha!

Anyways.

We’re hanging in there. Trying to enjoy the season as much as possible. Loving the rainy days we’ve had this week. Pretty much the same as everyone else. And I can’t believe it’s going to be 2011 in a matter of days. DAYS.

And this is a pretty recent past time for Cruz. We always tell him that that is ‘yucky’, but he still can’t help himself. Ha!

potty training

Two days ago, I bought this:

Yes. The time has come. Or is about to come. Let me explain.

Last week, after almost every nap and after every full night, he’s woken up with dry diapers. So while I’m not completely convinced that he’s 100% ready to go for this potty training thing, we are getting closer. Or maybe I’m in denial and just don’t want to potty train. I’m not sure. But we’ve been talking with him about it more, preparing him with the idea of going potty on the big boy potty and planting the idea in his head a little bit. He’ll tell me when he’s wet sometimes, so I know he’s going to be ready soon. So I thought I’d buy a potty, put it in his bathroom and see what happens. Mostly, I put it in there to generate a conversation with him about it. The day I brought it home, I asked him if he wanted to sit on the potty. He said yes. I really, genuinely thought that he was going to just sit on it and go to the bathroom. After he blew me away with transitioning into a big boy bed, I sorta thought that potty training might be the same way! And I was starting to think I had the easiest child that was ever birthed on the planet.

I was wrong. Are you surprised? Me neither.

When it came time to actually sit on the potty, he threw a fit and acted a little scared of it. So I didn’t push the issue at all. I don’t want it to be a traumatic experience for him. And I don’t want to force him into doing something he might not quite be ready for yet. So for now we are just talking about going potty on the big boy potty. And in the meantime, I need to figure out how the heck I’m going to tackle this topic and actually teach him how to do it. Do you have any potty training tips? Good websites? Books? Articles? Anything??? All the comments would be greatly appreciated.

I can’t believe we are about to embark on this. Yikes.