Tag Archives: stressed

know your limits

11 Jul

TIP# 10- KNOW YOUR LIMITS

So I took a break from my ‘working mom’ series and I didn’t really mention it to any of you. I just sort of stopped doing it and fell off the blog planet. Well, I still blogged but not like I usually do. It’s sort of ironic that this tip was next in line because it’s one that I’ve learned A TON about within the past two months.

And one that I can honestly say, I’m getting better at. Especially recently.

It is so important as a working mom to KNOW YOUR LIMITS. You are not super mom. Even if you want everyone to THINK you are, you are not. (Well, you are probably  super mom. But not SUPERMOM. Don’t be confused or offended. HA.)

Anyways.

I’m the queen of taking on a lot and managing it pretty well. I’m very task oriented, organized and a go-getter. If I set my mind to something, I can probably do it (not camping though). And in a world where there is A LOT thrown at me each and every day, it’s pretty easy to get overwhelmed. And being overwhelmed isn’t an emotion I share publicly very often.

Poor Jason, right?

I recently hit a wall of ‘overwhelmth’. I’m aware that’s not a word. But I hit the wall, nonetheless. Wait, is it a word? Weird. I hit this wall of way too much to do and not enough time to do it in. I found myself in a constant cycle of never getting everything done, one million deadlines with new ones knocking on my door every day, and a to do list that was growing a mile a minute. Top that off with two growing boys who need A LOT of attention, a home that was starting to be neglected, laundry piling up, eating out every night, dust on the shelves, SO ON AND SO FORTH. I finally had to hold my hands up, surrender to it all and say, “I SERIOUSLY CAN’T DO ALL THIS!”. I was starting to feel like I was running a rat race. Like every day was the same and I had to just race through it all to get stuff done so I could go to bed, wake up and find myself in the same predicament. With HUGE to do lists, no time, screaming kids, and a dirty house.

I literally looked at Jason one day and said, “I can’t do this anymore.”

Not my job silly. Just the way we were doing things. I HIT MY LIMIT. I know how much I can take.

It’s so important to know what your limits are. When you’re at a place in your life where you AREN’T overwhelmed, it would be a good idea to set up some boundaries for yourself. I tell myself daily that it’s OK to say no to stuff. To people. To plans. To extra things that you can’t take on. Focus your energy on the things that you CAN do and are WILLING to do and do them well. But taking on all of it is impossible. Why do we as women think we can master and balance everything all the time? It’s incredibly difficult and stressful! And a working mamma who’s stressed out and filled with anxiety over everything that needs to get done, can’t be a good mom!

That’s where I’ve been these past few weeks.

So Jason and I completely reorganized our business. We prioritized some things that were on our plates. We each gave up and took on new roles within our work. And holy moly, I can actually breathe again. For real. It’s amazing what happens when you know your limits and can prioritize the things that are important to you and to your work. Both of us feel this newfound ‘refreshness’ within our work and are getting things done more efficiently and effectively.

But what a difficult past month it’s been in the area of ‘working mom’ for me!

I’m glad I hit the wall though. It forced me to take a good look at what I am ACTUALLY doing here. And I encourage you to do the same! Is what you’re doing working for you? Is it REALLY, TRULY, HONESTLY working? Not what you WANT to do. But what you can REALISTICALLY do. I’ve had to give up some things that were on my plate. Things I really enjoyed doing. But it just wasn’t working. So I’ve had to refigure out some things, adjust, and move forward.

And I can honestly say things are WAY better. I actually have time to clean my house and take a day off. I haven’t had a day off since January. Like, a REAL entire day OFF. Well, I had my first whole day off on Saturday. And what a good feeling it was!!

Be encouraged. You too, don’t have to do it all! It’s OK to say no to stuff. It’s OK to re-prioritize your work, family life, friends etc. It’s OK to take a day off. You’ve gotta know your limits. Know what your breaking point is and stay far away from it. Life is to awesome to just be a ‘rat race’. It’s not worth it to not have a day off in six months.

Hard lesson learned for me. And we’re back on track.

* I saw this quote on Pinterest and thought it was very thought provoking and true. 

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at a loss

12 Apr

I’m at a loss for words tonight. I’m not sure exactly why. Nothing terrible happened or anything. I guess I had a pretty hard day today- mostly emotionally. I’m sorting through a lot of things in my heart. I’m trying to get more rest. I chased an energetic toddler who didn’t nap at all today.

I’m drained. I’m exhausted. I’m stressed.

I’m ready for certain things to be in place. And I’m ready to move on from others. I feel like we’re in a very ‘in-between’ spot in our lives in a lot of aspects and it’s draining me.

I don’t really know what else to say other than that. So I’m not going to. Once I sort it all out, I’ll make some sense of it on here, I’m sure.

Until then, I will leave you with an adorable picture of me and Cruz from Jason’s cousin’s wedding last August. Cruz was only 9 months old! Wow, how they change in only a few months!

meltdown

25 Mar

I had a complete meltdown the other night. It needed to happen, I think. It was good for my soul. And I can think a lot more clear now that I’ve gotten all my emotions out of the way.

I’ve been pretty stressed out these past couple weeks. We have a lot going on. Always. We always have a lot going on. Life doesn’t ever slow down for us, even if we try to make it. I thought once the holidays past, we’d be able to breathe. I thought our photography business would slow down a little bit, which I didn’t want and I did want all at the same time. I love my job and staying busy has just been amazing. I just thought that naturally, there’d be a slope in the amount of business we had after the holidays.

We don’t have an open slot until June.

Don’t get me wrong- I am incredibly blessed, grateful and humbled to be this busy. I get to work full time at home, with my son sitting on my lap! It doesn’t get any better.

Throw that into the mix with Jason starting a new job, trying to move up to Scottsdale, getting our house ready to rent out, actually renting out our current house, chasing after a toddler, buying a new car AND having another baby. Another baby??!! I have to be this busy AND add another baby to the mix?? Whoa.

This pregnancy has been completely different than my pregnancy with Cruz- including hormonally. When I was pregnant the first time around, I’m pretty sure I was on the brink of tears for nine straight months. I felt so bad for my family, friends and mostly Jason. Anything could piss me off, make me bawl or just simply insecure. It was so weird because I’m not typically like that at all. I’m an emotional woman normally, but to a healthy extent. During my pregnancy with Cruz, I was a wreck. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It was horrible. So I didn’t have to deal with morning sickness or any major food aversions (except chicken!) but I was about to bawl in your face at any given moment the entire time. Awful.

*sigh*

This time around, I think I’ve been completely depleted of all emotions. I can tear up a little, and only at certain things. But mostly, I don’t really feel emotional about anything- especially not like I did with Cruz. Things that would normally hurt my feelings or make me cry, don’t. It’s weird. I’ll be thinking, Wow, that should really hurt my feelings but for some reason it doesn’t. Strange. So I’m sure it’s been building up inside for awhile.

I had a minor set back during one of my edits on this same particular night- the one with my meltdown. Don’t worry, it ultimately resolved itself. But, while I was in the midst of it, it sent me into a mild version of what I call, a meltdown. Jason was just sitting on the opposite couch from me wondering, I’m sure, What the hell is happening? I started sobbing about any and every little thing that’s been building in my heart over the past couple months- mostly about the things I listed above. After I finished sobbing- seriously about an hour later- and realized that it was midnight and that I need to go to bed, I actually felt a lot better.

The truth is, there is a lot going on in my life that is giving me so much anxiety. Which is stupid really, because at the end of the day, everything usually gets done right? Maybe not all the dishes or laundry or yard work. But the things that are super important always get done. But right now, I have all of these small and large tasks on my ‘To Do’ list everyday, and to be honest- figuring out how to do all of them AND be a full time mommy is super hard! I hit a wall the other night, got it all out of my system, went to bed and actually woke up feeling a lot more clear about my life and what actually is on my plate.

It’s amazing how a little meltdown can actually allow things to be a lot more clear.

I would never change where I’m at in this life. I wouldn’t change one single thing about it. Well, I actually would hire a full time maid to clean my house if I could afford it, not gonna lie. But aside from that, I wouldn’t change anything. BUT, for any mom- working inside the house, working outside the home, or not working at all, balancing everything is very hard to do. And at moments where I think we couldn’t possibly get busier in our lives, we do. And I’m still navigating how to actually do this thing called ‘full time working mom’. It’s not easy. Every day is a balancing act. And every day usually doesn’t turn out how I thought it would. I’m trying to go with the flow, release control and just focus on one day at a time. Not tomorrow, or next week or next month. Wow, that’s hard for me.

I’m so thankful that God’s grace is sufficient for me, today, right where I’m at. He sees me in my ‘meltdown moments’ and understands my heart. And it’s comforting to know that I’m not the only mamma (or woman!) who feels like they’re going crazy at times. We’re all just doing the best we can, with what we’ve been given. And that’s all we can do.