Tag Archives: pregnant

stupid comments

30 Aug

Do you ever wonder why people feel the need to make stupid comments to pregnant people? I’m not talking about the usual, “How are you feeling?” “Are you hanging in there?” “When’s your due date?” etc. THOSE are normal questions. Normal questions that don’t bother me at all this time around and questions I get every day. It’s ok. I am surrounded by great friends, near and far, that only care for me and my family and want to make sure I’m hanging in there now that it’s the end. I get it.

I’m talking about stupid comments from people who you DON’T know. Complete strangers that feel the need to speak up, ask dumb questions, make unnecessary comments and for why? WHY? Why is it necessary that if you DON’T KNOW ME that you must open your mouth to say stupid stuff? I’m not understanding. But my ENTIRE weekend was filled up with me running into complete strangers that just felt the need to speak their mind, regardless of how it might make me feel. Now I understand that they probably didn’t mean harm. And that I shouldn’t care what strangers think- and I DON’T. But when you’re in public, it can be embarrassing because there are usually other people around. Plus, I’m usually with Cruz, it’s hot outside AND I’m uncomfortable. So please, Mr. Cashier, please make my day worse by your small talk that is only making you sound like a moron.

Situation #1:

I was in a Starbucks and I had just finished meeting with a client who hired us to photograph her wedding. She was super sweet and we had just finished the greatest conversation. I was in a great mood, so I thought I’d grab an ice tea as I was on my way out the door. I’m standing in line- I’m NOT EVEN NEXT IN LINE and the associate behind the counter says,

“Oh my gosh! Are you carrying twins???!”

To which I smile and say,

“No… No I’m not.”

And then SHE says,

“There’s no possible way there’s only ONE baby in there! You’re HUGE!”

I smile a courtesy smile, take a deep breath and say,

“Ya, I just have large babies. There’s only one in there and I’m due in less than two weeks.”

I’m glad she’s still smiling at me because I can feel my mood changing and I can feel my conscious telling me to guard my mouth and not to say what I’m REALLY thinking. Before I have a chance to say anything else, it’s my turn to order. So I step up to the counter, not remembering the drink I wanted because I’m so caught off guard at how rude she was, when all of a sudden ANOTHER associate comes out from the back and starts unpacking boxes. I order my drink and look down the counter to notice that he’s staring at me. I smile (kind of) and HE says, (and I’m NOT joking)

“Wow! Are you having twins??”

I laugh a little, but I’m really thinking This is unbelievable! and I say,

“Nope. There’s just one in there and I’m due in less than two weeks.”

And then HE says,

“No way! There HAS to be two in there!”

To which I say,

“There’s really, really not two in there. But thanks!”

By then my drink is ready and I grab it and leave. I make it to the car in time to burst out in sobbing tears. I couldn’t help it. All of Starbucks was looking at the huge pregnant lady who was being asked loudly by their workers if she’s having twins when I’m not. As if I REALLY wanted to stand there and discuss how big my belly actually is. I KNOW IT’S BIG. It was even bigger when I was pregnant with Cruz! Why do strangers feel the need to bring it up? And then doubt me when I say I actually AM only having ONE baby???

Situation #2:

So later that day I had a Boudoir photo shoot lined up. I ran into The Cheesecake Factory to grab a slice of cheesecake for a prop for the shoot (ooo la la!) and I was feeling pretty good and excited for the afternoon that lied ahead. The girl behind the counter was perfectly nice and making small talk with me while I ordered my cheesecake to go. In the middle of our conversation, a waitress (who didn’t need to be apart of our conversation) came behind the counter, looking at me and asks,

“Oh my gosh! Are you having twins??”

I courtesy smile again, but kind of pissed now, and say,

“No. I’m not having twins.”

To which she says,

“Do you just carry really high then? Because that’s a pretty good baby bump you’ve got going there!”

To which I say,

“Thanks. Ya, I must.”

That remark was followed by her asking when I’m due, what I’m having etc. And I didn’t leave sobbing, but I did leave wondering what on earth is going on?? I’m over nine months pregnant! You aren’t supposed to look perfect, but I didn’t think I looked like I was carrying TWINS! I never got that remark when I was pregnant with Cruz and I WAS actually huge! So I was completely dumbfounded and I sent Jay a text telling him what happened, AGAIN, and you can imagine how the rest of that conversation went. Good grief.

Situation #3:

Fast forward to Sunday. I had breakfast with a dear friend in the morning and after I left, Cruz and I headed over to Target to get some diapers. It was very busy, so I stood in line for a while until another line opened up. Once it did, I moved over to the line that had just opened because Cruz was getting fussy and I needed to get out of there. So I walk up and the cashier is oooo-ing and aaahh-ing over Cruz. And he’s saying ‘Hi!’ and being his charming little self. Then she looks at me and says,

“When are you due?”

And I say,

“In less than two weeks.”

And she says,

“Aw that’s great! Do you know what you’re having?”

And I said,

“Yes, I’m having another boy!”

She scrunches up her nose and says,

“Aw… well that’s too bad. Maybe next time!”

I am shocked at her response and say,

“No I’m beyond thrilled to be having another boy! I don’t care whether I have boys or girls- as long as they’re healthy I’m happy!”

And she says,

“Oh really? Well that’s good I guess.”

I finished paying and walked away thinking, What on earth JUST happened? Should I not be excited because I’m having a BOY? What is WRONG with people? Who says that to a pregnant lady who is about to burst at any second with her SON?? Of course I’d love to have a girl, but the truth is, if boys is all we have I will be THRILLED. Coming from someone who’s had two miscarriages, I’m thrilled to have healthy children at all! It doesn’t matter one bit to me if we have boys or girls but,

WHO EVEN SAYS THAT???

I was so confused when we left, I just laughed to myself wondering if I had just imagined that conversation. Did I imagine it?? I don’t even know. I would NEVER say something like that to a pregnant lady. Is it just me? Do these places need to review their customer service etiquette? I stopped taking in personal, because I know people don’t mean harm, but seriously? Isn’t it common sense that you aren’t supposed to INSULT someone to their face?

I can laugh about it now and I am awaiting the comments while I’m out. I seem to be a magnet for them these days. Or maybe it was just last weekend? Who knows. I really think people need to think before they speak to anyone. Especially someone who’s about to birth an ENTIRE HUMAN.

Wow.

Advertisements

pool on the porch

29 Aug

Lately, our days have been filled up with this:

Since I am at the end of my pregnancy, I’m sure you can imagine that the last thing I feel like doing is getting into my bathing suit (that doesn’t fit anymore) and lugging toys, towels, water and a toddler down to the pool everyday. Which we literally used to do almost every day for a couple months. But now that I’m at the end, we definitely don’t go to the pool as often. It’s hot. The water’s not even cold. So this pregnant lady doesn’t even get a cool off that would be worth the trip since the pool water is probably almost 90 degrees.

BUT.

I do still have a toddler that needs to get outside and regardless of how I’m feeling, he’s got a TON of energy that doesn’t expire except for at nap time and at bed time. If he’s not sleeping, he’s running around with endless energy and it’s my job to find constructive ways for him to use it. But then I feel horrible during the end of this pregnancy and all I want to do is lay down, which probably won’t happen until the year 2019. Or later. I’ve accepted it. It’s ok.

So I bought a little pool for our porch that he can at least play in occasionally or if I’m having a really horrible day and don’t feel like going anywhere. He LOVES it. It sits on our porch and I fill it up with water when he wants to ‘swim’. It’s been a blessing because it was very inexpensive ($6.99 at Target) and it allows me to SIT DOWN. I don’t have to put my bathing suit on. I don’t have to get into the water. I sit in the door way and watch and play with him from there. It is awesome and was money well spent for me at this point. Ha!

But he’s so cute about it! He’ll stand at the doorway, ask to ‘swim’, we throw on a swim diaper, I fill it up with water (yes, from the sink) and he always plays in it for no less than an hour! It fills up our mornings if I don’t have errands to run and it also can fill up our afternoons after his nap and before dinner. It’s been such a lifesaver! Once Rider is born, I know this little pool with be a great help to me because it will preoccupy Cruz for small spurts while we all transition to life with a newborn.

The other day, I sat outside with him while Jason filled it with water. I snapped some pictures of him because he’s just too cute and loves it so much. Plus, I always want to remember what we did together in our last couple weeks together of it just being me, him and Jason. Every day is special for this rad little kid. I’m so blessed to have such a great little guy who is a ton of work, but only because he’s full of energy. He’s so full of life and wants to experience everything. And for that, I am so grateful.

What a little stud in his manly swim diaper! I love this age, even though it can be really difficult sometimes. Mostly, it’s a lot of fun and he’s just the coolest kid.

37 weeks

27 Aug

I am 37 weeks pregnant today. And I hate just always complaining on this blog about how I feel awful, but it’s the truth. I feel awful. The baby has lowered even more, which is doing nothing more than placing pressure on my sciatic nerve and other joints- making it not only more painful but super painful to walk. It’s really fun. And then it’s giving me a headache and a pretty bad backache too.

It’s really fun.

So while I am truly sorry to continue to be ‘Debbie Downer’, this is the truth in how I’m feeling. And I DO know that I’m almost done. That doesn’t make the next two weeks seem any shorter. I KNOW it will be worth it once he’s here. Also doesn’t make me feel better today. There’s not much anyone can say or do that makes me feel better these days. I just need to have the baby. And while I am uncomfortable, I do hope he waits until he’s considered full term. It’s a double edged sword for me these days.

Sorry I’ve been MIA on this blog again these past few days. I’ve have lots of things to say and write about, but I just feel super crummy. AND we’ve been very, VERY busy with work and with getting things ready for this little guy to come. I’m trying to get things organized so I can just focus on Rider and Cruz once he’s born and so I’ll be able to take a small break once he’s here. It’s the planner in me, what can I say?

So if you see or run into me within these next couple weeks, you can just go ahead and assume that I’m feeling pretty awful. But I have high hopes and I’m trying to keep my spirits up! After all, he’s healthy and active. I couldn’t ask for more, really. Well, maybe just a little relief would be nice. But if it’s not in the cards for me, he’ll be here before I know it and I’ll be dealing with other discomforts. HA.

On that note, here’s a fun picture of Rainbow Bright. Maybe it’ll brighten your day too?

nine months pregnant

20 Aug

Today I am exactly nine months pregnant. 36 weeks. Almost done.

You know, they should REALLY rewrite all the school books and educate our young women so that they know that most women are ACTUALLY PREGNANT TEN MONTHS. NOT NINE. I still have 3-4 weeks to go and that’s if Rider doesn’t decide to come early! Which, let’s face it. This is MY child we are talking about here. He won’t come early on his own. I’ll be shocked if he does. I have no expectations for an unplanned surprise such as my water breaking or going into labor at 37 or 38 weeks. Do I want it to happen? Um, YES. Am I expecting it? Um, NO. My pregnancy with Cruz was 10.5 months, as he was almost 2 weeks late.

Remember how I keep saying that there’s SO MUCH STUFF that people don’t tell you before you get pregnant? Yes. That’s one of them. Most women are actually pregnant for more than nine months and usually more than ten.

I had my 36 week appointment yesterday and everything looks great! He’s healthy, happy and I’m not dilated at all. This wasn’t a surprise to me, but it’s good to know where I’m at right? I’m going to the doctor every week now. I’m super uncomfortable, dealing with joint pain and hungry ALL THE TIME. Kind of like how I was in my first trimester. So I’ve stocked up on carrots and hummus because you can only eat crap for so long before you start feeling like, well… crap. I’m not swollen at all, which is different than my pregnancy with Cruz. When I was pregnant with Cruz I couldn’t wear my wedding ring starting my 8th month. This time around I actually still have my ring on! I didn’t gain any weight this week, which was surprising, bringing my weight gain to just over 30 lbs. Also refreshing from the 54 lbs I gained with Cruz.

So things look good! I’m starting to pack our hospital bags because before you know it, we’ll be there and we’ll be holding our little Rider man! It’s pretty nuts how fast this pregnancy went. I’m SO anxious to be a mamma of two babies and the adjustment that’s going to take place. I pray every day that it won’t be as hard as I’m anticipating it to be. But if it is, I know that God won’t give me more than we can handle and that it will all be ok.

You might have to remind me that I said that on some days. Or maybe not. Who knows.

Thanks for journeying with me these past nine months. They have been full of so much change for us. It’s been a whirlwind that’s for sure! And I can’t believe in a couple short weeks I’ll have my second little guy in my arms. A mom of two boys.

How’d I get so lucky?

rider’s ultrasound

3 Jul

It’s pretty crazy, the technology we have. The fact that we are actually able to see our babies while their in our tummy’s is pretty incredible, let alone being able to see them in 3-D! It kinda blows me away every time. Although the 3-D ultrasounds can make each baby look slightly “alienish”, I love it just the same.

We had our 30 week ultrasound of our little Rider man yesterday and at my doctor’s office, if they can get a good shot of him in 3-D they do it as part of the routine ultrasound. I love that about this place. So the ultrasound tech did all the measurements and told us all about what is going on with him. Cruz came with us and kept saying ‘Ri! Ri!’ while pointing to the screen. Pretty darn cute. When she was done getting measurements, she flipped into 3-D mode. At first, she told us that his hand was in front of his face, as was the imbecile cord. She said that she could try to move the baby around a little bit to get him to move the hand, but the cord could be pretty hard to move since it’s so long. But she poked and prodded a little bit and Rider actually did cooperate! We weren’t able to move the cord completely out of the way, but enough to see his little face for the first time.

And we were COMPLETEY SHOCKED at how much he looked like Cruz did when he was in my tummy!! I mean, why were we shocked?? They ARE brothers after all! And who knows what he’ll actually look like once he’s here, but these ultrasound shots are pretty stinkin close. They appear to have the same nose and little chin. The pictures aren’t totally clear still though. The ‘stuff’ that’s in the way is fluid and remaining imbecile cord, so don’t be alarmed. But he at least let us peek at him a little bit, even if it wasn’t as good of a shot as I was hoping for. I was happy just to see him at all! I can’t wait to pinch his little cheeks!

I was just beaming all day yesterday! I just loved seeing his little sweet face and I can’t wait to hold him in a few (11 and counting) weeks or so. My doctor came in and told me that he’s measuring right on schedule and that I’m making it look easy with how healthy and happy he is. She’s happy with my weight gain (thank God) and I’m currently waiting on the glucose test results. So everything is happy and healthy for now! I praise Jesus everyday for the fact that so far he’s given us two happy, healthy, very cute little boys.

I’m not sure my heart can take it. I’m pretty sure it will explode with love on Rider’s birth day. And I can’t wait.

body image

15 Jun

I had another emotional day yesterday. I’m having more and more emotional days as this pregnancy progresses. When I was pregnant with Cruz, I was pretty emotional and irrational from the beginning of my pregnancy. This time around, I’ve never felt more like myself- until lately. And this time around there’s only a few things that make me super emotional, unlike my pregnancy with Cruz in which I could cry at just about anything. And I did. Yikes.

So yesterday, it became completely apparent that I’m going to HAVE to get a bathing suit for the season. I got away with it last time I was pregnant because I just didn’t go swimming. It was as simple as that. I walked malls, I walked neighborhoods, I walked on treadmills as my forms of exercise. Getting into a bathing suit was never an option, I just didn’t do it. I had no desire to swim.

This year, I still don’t really have much of a desire to get into a bathing suit. I mean, what girl really does?? But now that it’s getting hot, I’m realizing that I have a toddler who NEEDS to be outside and who can’t be cooped up all day long. The splash pad is an awesome alternative (see below) but it can’t be the only option. He loves being in the water, once he’s comfortable with it. The times we’ve taken him in the pool he’s just loved it- on his terms of course. But he really enjoys the cool down and it’s great for him. Obviously, he can’t swim yet. We definitely need to get him in swim lessons. But regardless if he knows how to swim or not, at his age I need to be in the water with him, eyes on him the whole time, and attending to him the whole time.

This, my friends, requires a bathing suit. In case you were wondering.

I understand that pregnancy and everything that comes along with it is a beautiful thing. The whole process that is happening is amazing, miraculous, and only happens a few times in a women’s life if we’re lucky. Trust me, I’m trying to take in the entire process every time I’m pregnant and enjoy it. I try not to stress too much about weight gain and just enjoy the whole thing. It’s only going to happen 2 or maybe 3 times to me in my lifetime and I don’t want to look back and wish that I hadn’t relaxed a little more.

But.

I am also a woman. A woman who has body image issues just like every other woman in the world. Do I want to see my body stretch in ways it never has? Do I like knowing that things aren’t going to ever be the same again? That I’m not ever going to have my old body back? NO. Do I struggle with it from time to time? YES. I struggle with it when I’m not pregnant, are you kidding? Who doesn’t?

So today I finally caved and had to go to Target and purchase a bathing suit that I felt comfortable in in public. Cruz and I keep getting invited to go to the pool with other mom’s and friends and I just HAVE to feel comfortable in public so I can play with Cruz in the water. The last thing I would want is for him to miss out on getting into the water because I was too insecure to just put a bathing suit on and play with him.

Needless to say, I was in tears before we even got to Target.

It’s easy to remember WHY you’re body is changing. I mean, I’m growing a human being! I understand the process and I would do it a thousand times over if it gives me little gems like Cruz each time. I mean, seriously. It’s completely worth it. But as a woman and as a human, I keep having moments throughout my pregnancy where I just am completely insecure with what is happening. I hate how other pregnant moms compare each other to one another. I hate how you hope everything will go back to where it was, but in truth your body will not ever be completely the same. But most of all, I hate how Satan takes this beautiful process and somehow makes me feel bad about how I’m starting to look. Making me feel insecure about my body when really this process has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with getting Rider here safely.

And most of the time, I’m good with that and understand that I’m going to gain weight, get stretched out and have another beautiful son. So bring on the stretch marks!┬áBut even still, I am human. And it’s so hard not to get caught up in looks and weight gain and media. And it’s something I’ve really struggled with the past couple days.

Especially having to face getting into a bathing suit almost everyday.

*Sigh*

I actually ended up finding a bathing suit at Target that worked out for me! So I left a happy camper and actually DO feel comfortable in the pool with him. What a relief. And every day, I just try to remind myself that I am taking care of myself the way I need to. I am gaining the weight I need to. And I’m trying not to get caught up in comparing myself to others during this time in my life. It’s so hard not to feel like you’re a giant blob when your pregnant. And it’s hard for me not to get down on myself about it. I’m just being honest.

But I am trying to just focus on playing with Cruz in the water. I did find something I’m comfortable being outside in. And I’m trying to truly enjoy this pregnancy all the while enjoying these last few months of it being just Cruz and myself. Because it’s going to fly by and I’ll be able to get back into shape before I know it.

** This is a picture of Cruz swimming last year! How crazy that this was a year ago!!

** Um, ok and a couple more for a bonus because, wow how cute is he??

pregnancy update

7 Jun

I’m hoping to be heading to a doctor’s appointment this morning that I made over the weekend. We had a flat tire on my car over the weekend, so if it’s not fixed in time for my appointment this morning, I’ll have to reschedule.

It’s always something, isn’t it?

*Sigh*

But I made an appointment over the weekend for nothing too major, but a small little something pregnancy related. I’ve been having a lot of episodes of blurred vision followed by headaches. It’s nothing I’m too worried about- I’ve had this same thing happen to me for years and it happened a lot during my pregnancy with Cruz. So it’s not a brand new symptom for me, but since every pregnancy is different, my doctor wants to check my blood pressure etc to make sure that I’m in the clear for preeclampsia. I don’t have any swelling or any other crazy symptoms. Over the phone my doctor said it could even be a vision problem and not pregnancy related at all.

But they need to see me to make sure.

So if you think of it, say a little prayer for me. I’m not too worried about it and I’ve been actually feeling pretty great these days, aside from the headaches and blurry vision that have been happening a couple times a week. But if it is preeclamsia, then that’s something to be taken very seriously and it does worry me that they might find that that is what’s happening. So I’d appreciate any prayer, that would be awesome. I’ll update soon on what the deal is.

But other than that, my pregnancy is going great! At my last appointment I had only gained 8 pounds total, which is insane to me. Chasing after Cruz has proved to be better than any exercise routine, I think. HA! Everything else has been smooth and normal and fine. Rider kicks like a crazy mad man, day and night! There’s no predicition to when he’s awake or sleeping, but I am so thrilled he’s so healthy and having a party in mom’s tummy! So we’ll see what the doctor says! I’m sure everrything’s fine; everything’s been fine up to now. But better safe than sorry.

I have had some psycho pregnancy dreams. Last night I had a dream that I had to have a c-section because the doctor discovered that I was going to give birth to a parrot. WEIRD. I was thankful to wake up from that dream for sure!