nine months pregnant

Today I am exactly nine months pregnant. 36 weeks. Almost done.

You know, they should REALLY rewrite all the school books and educate our young women so that they know that most women are ACTUALLY PREGNANT TEN MONTHS. NOT NINE. I still have 3-4 weeks to go and that’s if Rider doesn’t decide to come early! Which, let’s face it. This is MY child we are talking about here. He won’t come early on his own. I’ll be shocked if he does. I have no expectations for an unplanned surprise such as my water breaking or going into labor at 37 or 38 weeks. Do I want it to happen? Um, YES. Am I expecting it? Um, NO. My pregnancy with Cruz was 10.5 months, as he was almost 2 weeks late.

Remember how I keep saying that there’s SO MUCH STUFF that people don’t tell you before you get pregnant? Yes. That’s one of them. Most women are actually pregnant for more than nine months and usually more than ten.

I had my 36 week appointment yesterday and everything looks great! He’s healthy, happy and I’m not dilated at all. This wasn’t a surprise to me, but it’s good to know where I’m at right? I’m going to the doctor every week now. I’m super uncomfortable, dealing with joint pain and hungry ALL THE TIME. Kind of like how I was in my first trimester. So I’ve stocked up on carrots and hummus because you can only eat crap for so long before you start feeling like, well… crap. I’m not swollen at all, which is different than my pregnancy with Cruz. When I was pregnant with Cruz I couldn’t wear my wedding ring starting my 8th month. This time around I actually still have my ring on! I didn’t gain any weight this week, which was surprising, bringing my weight gain to just over 30 lbs. Also refreshing from the 54 lbs I gained with Cruz.

So things look good! I’m starting to pack our hospital bags because before you know it, we’ll be there and we’ll be holding our little Rider man! It’s pretty nuts how fast this pregnancy went. I’m SO anxious to be a mamma of two babies and the adjustment that’s going to take place. I pray every day that it won’t be as hard as I’m anticipating it to be. But if it is, I know that God won’t give me more than we can handle and that it will all be ok.

You might have to remind me that I said that on some days. Or maybe not. Who knows.

Thanks for journeying with me these past nine months. They have been full of so much change for us. It’s been a whirlwind that’s for sure! And I can’t believe in a couple short weeks I’ll have my second little guy in my arms. A mom of two boys.

How’d I get so lucky?

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saturday favorite #31

I had a pretty bad day yesterday. I was an emotional wreck, that’s for sure. I think I woke up crying, not kidding, and I pretty much didn’t stop all day. I woke up feeling awful and it’s really hard to start your day knowing that you have to get through the entire day, but your whole body hurts terribly, and you have a toddler. Thank God Jason was home all day yesterday! So then we went to the doctor and the nurse talked with me about weight, stretch marks and delivery- you know, all the horrible stuff that every pregnant lady wants to FORGET. Needless to say, she left my room and I started sobbing. Jason was just looking at me like, seriously? HA! And I knew the nurse meant well, but I just feel yucky these days. So then my doctor came in, as I’m crying of course, and I proceed to cry through the whole visit. She leaves and asks me if there’s reason for her to be worried about me, which of course I say no. I’m just having an emotional day and we’re all allowed to cry a lot once in a while, right?

But she did tell me that maybe I should get a belly band of some kind. That it would relief the pressure and life the baby up a little bit helping take some of the pressure off of my joints. I smiled and nodded thinking, yep we aren’t going to be spending money on that! But then I got in the car and told Jay that it might actually really be worth it for me to get one if it means I can be even a sliver more comfortable than I am now.

He completely agreed. Thank God for amazing and supportive husbands!

So to Babies R Us we went! They didn’t have a huge selection of belly bands, and I probably could have shopped around a little more. But I didn’t really want to. So I ended up getting the Support in Style Maternity Band from Boppy and boy oh boy- it TOTALLY helped! We purchased it and I headed straight to the bathroom to put it on. It definitely lifted my tummy and did relief a lot of pressure from my hips, which made this purchase MORE than worth it!

The rest of my day was still pretty emotional, I’m not going to lie. I think I cried at almost anything. But I could at least stand or sit or bend over without wanting to die, making this Saturday Favorite a big time keeper!

bedtime tears

This is a new one for me. Cruz has ALWAYS gone to bed very, very easily. Not many tears, not much fighting it. We just sing a song and I put him in his crib, say goodnight and walk out. Very simple. The past couple nights, I’ll sing him a song while he lays his head on my shoulder and after I’m done singing, he starts crying hysterically. So I’ll sing the song to him one more time. As soon as I start singing, he lays his head back down on my shoulder and when I’m done he starts crying. So instead of singing again, I try to explain to him that it’s time to go to sleep in his bed. As I try to lift him over the crib, he grips his legs to me clinging for dear life and cry’s. Really hard.

*Sigh*

I finally lay him down (as he’s screaming) and I tell him to lay on his pillow. Then I rub his back and his face to reassure him that everything’s ok. After I rub his back, he says “Ni Ni Mamma!” and I tell him I love him and walk out. End of the problem. I try to remain as calm as possible, even though I’m really frustrated and him clinging to me REALLY hurts, because I don’t want to make whatever stress he’s going through worse. I really don’t want bedtime to be a negative thing. So I try to stay super patient with him. But I’m not sure what’s going on. He doesn’t do this during his naps. Is he afraid of the dark? I have a night light in his room. Does he just want to stay up and play? Is he manipulating me? Did something happen around bedtime that now scares him? Does he know that in a few short weeks life as he knows it is going to change completely, and he just wants to be with me?

I don’t even know. He’s such a good communicator- saying so many words and different phrasings that I can understand. But sometimes he can’t quite communicate what his exact feelings are. And that’s frustrating as a mamma. Especially when I have no idea what is causing him to act so strangely at bedtime. I’m hoping it’s a phase.

I’ve really started working on Rider’s room the past couple days. Cleaning, setting things up, washing his clothes, organizing his closet. Is Cruz noticing the change and starting to get antsy? I really think that he KNOWS there’s a change coming. I know he can’t fully comprehend what, but I know he knows something is coming. And I really don’t want the next few weeks to be full of anxiety for him, so I’m trying (between the joint pain, migraines and severe uncomfortableness) to remain as calm and anxiety free as possible. I really want this transition to be smooth for him, in every way possible.

So I’m praying a lot these days for my little guy. For my family. I know that everything will be ok. So many people have multiple children and it all turns out  more than alright. But it’s still new territory for us. Jason and I have had a billion conversations about how we can make this transition smooth for him. We have talked to a couple family members about helping with him while I’m in the hospital and about helping once I’m home, if it’s needed. We’ve come up with a plan for visitors in the hospital AND once we’re home to keep things very even keeled for him, well… and for us. I’m a big planner and I am a big space person. Meaning, I need lots of it during big life changes. So we are trying to plan, as best as we can, so things aren’t stressful for Cruz or for Rider as he comes home to meet his brother.

Why did I tell you all that? This was supposed to be a post about my bedtime issues with Cruz and it turned into the whole transition that lies ahead. I’m just wondering if he’s sensing things are going to change and if that’s why he’s been so weird at bedtime. So I’m trying to stay aware of his little feelings. This is a busy season for us, but I’ll pull back on what we are doing if that means that I can put my little man first. To reassure him that mommy loves him and that even though changes are happening and busy times are coming, he will not be forgotten by me or Jason. He will not be left with sitters for hours on end. And he will not be less important than our little Rider man.

I’m sure he’s not even thinking all of that. But I think that I don’t give that kid enough credit. He’s pretty smart and is trying to communicate something with me. Trying to sort it all out is difficult as a mamma. Trying to make the right decisions for him is hard as a mamma. So I pray a lot these days. Trying to keep my emotions as level as possible around him. Trying love on him as much as possible. Because these are the last few weeks of just the three of us. And I couldn’t be more excited and terrified at the same time.

301 posts

Yes. It’s 4:30 am as I write this. I woke up to go to the bathroom and could not fall back asleep. Partly because I started thinking about the leftover chocolate covered Oreos that are in the kitchen left over from my shower. I’m completely resisting the urge to eat them right now because, well… wow. But then I got hungry and I couldn’t fall back to sleep. So I thought I’d blog to distract myself, but I’ll probably end up getting a glass of milk before I head back to bed, all while the Oreo’s are looking at and taunting me.

Yikes. Anyways.

This is my 301st post on this blog! Can you believe it? When I started my very first post ever, I didn’t think I’d have THIS much to talk about and say. Or that I have awesome readers like you following me! It’s been an amazing journey on this blog, and I like to remember that every time I reach another 100 posts. What a journey it’s been so far. I honestly think I was a completely different person in a lot of ways when I started this blog. This past year and a half has held A LOT of changes for us and I’ve changed and have grown a lot. The lessons I’ve learned have been unparallel to any other in my life, and I can’t say enough how grateful I am for the changes that have occurred for us.

I just ate a chocolate covered Oreo. Wow, it was totally worth it. Why did I agree to bring those home again?? Oh well. My strict diet starts in a few weeks once the baby’s born so I better enjoy it now, right?

ANYWAYS.

I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time (not just because I had a chocolate covered Oreo!) and wouldn’t have ever considered myself unhappy. But we are at a really, really great place right now. Sure, sometimes stuff is still hard. It’s life. It’s not ALL roses all the time. But I’m really thankful for things. I’m really appreciative of what I do have and grateful that God has directed our steps to here. And that He’s continuing to direct them further in our lives.

I’ve really learned who my true friends are. A few of my best friends threw me the most amazing baby shower yesterday (pictures coming soon!!) and while ALL the people I would consider true friends weren’t able to make it, so many of them did. And I literally took a second, looked around and was thankful for the friends that God’s placed in my life. It was such an amazing afternoon- I can’t wait to share all about it with you!

We’re like, moments away from having another baby. Another little boy, which has always thrilled me to no end. I’ve always seen myself a mom to all boys. And while if we have girls in the future I’ll be thrilled, if we don’t I won’t be surprised either! I can’t wait to meet Rider and to hold and snuggle and love him. I can’t imagine loving him as much as I love Cruz, but I obviously know he has an entirely separate place in my heart with more than enough love to share. And these past few days, I’ve really been able to see myself get REALLY excited for his arrival. Because up until now, I’ve been pretty nervous about having two boys so close in age. I know it will be great when they’re older, but I’m just thinking about what that is going to look like right now. Yikes. I see craziness in my future. But I’m so excited and feel so blessed that God would even give us another child. What an honor.

So life is good. I never thought we’d be here, up in Scottsdale, at SBC, two kids, in an apartment and loving every second. But that’s where we are. It’s completely amazing how you’re life can change in 301 posts. I’m so glad I started blogging. I’ve recorded some of the best and some of the worst days of my life here on this blog. And it’s given me an outlet, a new outlook, and sparked more creativity in me than I’ve had in years. Thank you for reading and following my journey. Here’s to another 301 posts!

Now I’m going back to bed before I’m forced by Rider to eat anymore chocolate covered Oreo’s, which by the way, are simply to die for. Wow.

this post might be TMI

I had my 33 week doctor’s visit for my pregnancy, which might I add, is rapidly coming to an end. Which is crazy to me. I’ve got less than six weeks left!

Unfortunately, I have reached the MOST UNCOMFORTABLE STAGE of pregnancy. I am SO much more uncomfortable than I ever remember being with Cruz. I remember being really large and feeling like there was no space left for him. I actually don’t feel huge yet, but I am in quite a large amount of pain pretty non-stop all day long. I was talking to a girlfriend of mine, and she told me that she has it too and that it’s probably Symphysis Pubic Dysfunction.

‘It’s WHAT?‘,  I’m thinking. EW!

Oh ya. ‘Symphysis Pubic Dysfunction or SPD, is one of those weird pregnancy conditions that sounds bizarre and well, kind of is. It means the ligaments that normally keep your pelvic bone aligned become too relaxed and stretchy. This, in turn, can make the pelvic joint — aka the symphysis pubis — unstable, causing some pretty strange sensations and sometimes pain.’ (WhattoExpect.com)

Sometimes pain? SOMETIMES PAIN? How about all the time, all day long, I can’t even roll over in the middle of the night because all my joints feel like they are going to fall apart. And it’s not an exaggeration.

So I asked my doctor about it and sure enough, that’s what it is. Rider is completely healthy and happy. He’s head down and has dropped a little so she said that that might be what’s causing the pain. She has to be right because it only really started this week, and I do feel like he’s not sitting as high up as he has been the whole time. So I asked her why- WHY!- does this need to happen?? And she basically said that the culprit behind SPD is a hormone called relaxin. Its supposed to make your ligaments stretchy so your baby can ease his or her way into the world. But sometimes relaxin can make your ligaments too loose too soon (way before baby is ready to come out), and that causes instability (and unfortunately, pain) in the pelvic joint.

Awesome.

And then she says, “Ya, unfortunately it is possible that the pain will get worse with each pregnancy that you have.”

Awesome. That is awesome. Yesterday I told Jay that if the pain is supposed to get worse, we might just be done! HA! Because this is joint pain that isn’t occasional. It doesn’t only happen when I sit down or stand up or lie down or bend over. IT’S ALL DAY LONG. The best way to describe it is that it feels like two things. I’ll let you decide which one is better. It either feels like 1). I’ve been riding a bike for 8 weeks straight or 2). Like someone punched me in the crotch no less than 5 or 6 times. And let’s be honest, it actually feels like BOTH of those things at the same time, most of the time.

Is that TMI? Oh well. I have no shame.

Needless to say, it is painful and the 1 Tylenol that I am allowed to take every four hours isn’t helping as you can imagine. I’ve been getting into the pool a lot, because that actually does help. And I’m trying to ignore the pain that feels like my joints just might explode at any given moment. The good news is that I haven’t had as many migraines lately, knock on wood. But I’m not sure what I’d rather have, migraines or constant joint pain?

Regardless, I have a healthy baby in there. Every pregnant woman is allowed to complain, right? Even still, I haven’t lost sight of the fact that I AM extremely lucky, it could be way worse, and I’d do this all over again to meet his little healthy face in a heartbeat. Which brings me to the inevitable, we are most likely not done having kids.

Even though any other potential children in our future are only figments of our imagination at this point, because let’s face it, I’m not even done making this one yet!

national cheesecake day

There is actually a whole day devoted to cheesecake. Did you know this? I did not. But now I am sharing it with you!

Today, July 30th, 2010, Cheesecake Factory is celebrating this National Cheesecake Day and you can get any slice at half price! I actually went there last night because they were having any slice for $1.50, which is an amazing deal! I tried their new Reese’s Pieces Peanutbutter Chocolate Cake Cheesecake, which was slightly to die for. It was incredibly rich, so I only ate about 1/4 of it but I brought the rest home.

Mmmm. I’m going to eat some more of it right now.

I really suck at finding good deals on stuff. I’m not a coupon clipper or a thrifty person. I SO wish I was. Usually when I hear about deals like this, I just don’t take advantage of them. I’m not sure why, either! I’m just not good at being thrifty! But when this pregnant lady hears about half off cheesecake, I’m all over it! Honestly, I’m trying to get better about being more thrifty. So when I hear of other amazing deals- not just dessert related- I’ll try to make sure I pass them along.

That being said, go out with a few girlfriends today and celebrate National Cheesecake Day! It’s an excuse to eat some fabulous dessert at HALF OFF.

migraines

This has been the biggest pain in my side this pregnancy. Migraines. Yes, I have fallen victim to horrible headaches and migraines that aren’t really getting worse but they aren’t getting any better. And yes, I am under a doctors care and have been watched for preclampsia, diabetes etc etc etc. I am perfectly heathy and Rider is doing awesome. At my last ultrasound my doctor literally said that he can’t BE any healthier than he is. And that my pregnancy is going flawlessly.

Except for these darn headaches.

She told me that headaches and migraines can either get worse or better for women who had them prior to pregnancy. Prior to pregnancy, I MAYBE had two migraines a year. Maybe. But it’s definitely escalated to about 1-2 a week. The same thing happened when I was pregnant with Cruz and they disappeared after he was born. It wasn’t as intense with Cruz, but I still had them.

So I’ve been told I can’t travel. Driving long distances is out of the question for me because I loose my vision for a little bit before the onset of the migraine. If the headaches get to the point to where I can’t function or I can’t get rid of them with basic hydration and Tylenol, I need to call my doctor or go to the ER. So far I can get rid of them and I can somewhat function with them. Lately, they’ve been coming on in the middle of the night, which is good and bad. It’s good because it’s dark and quiet and I don’t have to worry about Cruz since he’s asleep. It’s bad because it interrupts my sleep a little bit.

So it’s pretty awful. But, it could be way worse. My doctor told me to rest, take it easy as much as possible and when it could be a sign of something serious. For now, it’s nothing serious that she’s worried about, which I’m grateful for. I just need to get through the next 8 weeks or so dealing with these headaches and a toddler.

It could always be worse. So I’m considering myself lucky that this is the worst of it for now. And praying it stays that way!

So there’s the update. In case you were wondering.