If there’s one thing in this life that drives me absolutely crazy, it’s bullies. I don’t understand it. I don’t understand why kids have to be so mean to one another. If there’s one thing that hurts my heart more than anything, it’s kids who are bullying MY kids. Gosh, I never knew or thought that other kids picking on mine would hurt my feelings so badly. And make me furious at the same time. Why did it hurt my feelings??
Ok, here’s what happened.
Jason and I took the boys to McDonald’s last night to get some ice-cream. It was mostly to get me and Cruz out of the house because we had been home mostly all day. Since I had a c-section, I’m not allowed to drive until I go see my doctor for my follow up appointment. So I’m stuck at home and at the mercy of Jay to take us all places and get us out and about a little bit. If you know me at all, you know that I like being at home. But I REALLY hate being stuck here. I’ve gotta have the freedom to come and go or I can go a little nuts.
So we went to McDonald’s to get some ice-cream and to let Cruz play on the playland. It sounded like a good idea, and actually was one until as we were walking up I noticed that there were what seemed like twelve 8 year olds playing in the play area. Ok really, there was probably 6 of them and and they were probably between the ages of 4 and 7- all boys. They were rambunctiously running around the play area, screaming and rough housing with one another. I scanned the room to see only three adults in the restaurant- two of which were not paying attention to the kids and were on their cell phones. I’m not sure who the kids belonged to, but no one was paying any attention to them.
So we ordered our ice-cream and I took the boys into the play area so Cruz could start playing. Jay waited for our order to come up and he was going to meet us at our table. So we walk in and immediately, ALL of the boys that were playing surrounded me because they wanted to see Rider since he’s so little. I’m not a germ freak or anything, but I REALLY don’t want strange children touching or breathing on my newborn. And one of the boys was bleeding on his elbow. Ew. Please refrain from touching my children, thank you. I put Rider down and Cruz runs over to go play. I’m watching him because I guess I tend to be somewhat of a Helicopter Mom and I’m always pretty paranoid about watching Cruz and making sure he’s ok and within my eye sight at all times.
If you know anything about Cruz at all, you know that he is the friendliest kid ever. He will say ‘Hi!’ to you no less than fifteen times within the first five minutes of seeing you. He loves playing and making new friends and he’s such a happy little guy. Keep in mind, he actually was almost as tall as a couple of those kids- so many people thing he’s three since he’s so tall. But he’s not even two yet. So he looks older than he is, until he starts talking and you realize that he’s still a little guy. But he went running right up to that group of boys, smiling and saying “Hi! Hi! Hi!”. I smiled to myself thinking, Gosh, I’ve got the best kid. He’s so friendly! No sooner had I thought this, I watched my son get surrounded by this group of boys and two of them were getting in his little face. The poor kid started backing up and he tripped over one of the play toys since he was trying to back out of the circle. He tripped, fell and started crying- pretty hard too. If you’re a mom, you know your kid has certain types of cries. This was definitely his terrified/scared cry. I’ve never leapt out of my seat so fast. I had surgery 11 days ago and I definitely shouldn’t have been moving that quickly! It was instinct. I ran into the group of boys yelling,
“Be careful with him! What are you doing?? He’s just a little baby!”
I scooped him up and pulled him out of the mean boy huddle just in time to see Jay walking in with our order. Cruz is crying and to be honest, I am now crying too. HA! I’ve been pretty emotional since I’ve had Rider and I couldn’t help but well up.
“What’s going on?” Jay asked.
“Those boys were bullying Cruz and made him trip and fall! He was scared.” I said. I glanced over my shoulder and no adults in the room were paying attention or even caring that I was yelling at a group of 4 year olds. I wiped Cruz’s tears (while Jay was reminding me that I shouldn’t baby him too much), I put him down and he stood by us and watched the boys continue to play for a while. He never went back over to the play area to play. He played on the outskirts of it and steered clear of the group. He just continued to play by himself and was happy and not effected by the boys at all, really.
But I was.
I completely lost my appetite and couldn’t even finish my milkshake. How lame am I? But seriously! I now have this picture in my brain of these boys- who were a lot bigger and older than him, making him trip and fall and scaring him. No parents came to disipline. No adults were concerned but me. I sat there wondering how in the heck am I going to let him go to school? What if he gets bullied? What if he gets beat up? What if I’m not there to stop it? What if he’s the bully? When I said all this out loud to Jay, he looked at me as if to say, No, we are not home-schooling our kids.
I can’t stand it. I can’t handle the thought of bullies in school or on the playground or in the neighborhood. And the thought of it happening to your own child is sort of like pure torture. It made me pray deep for protection over Cruz’s life and for direction as a parent so that we may raise him to not be a bully. Not to be a pushover, buy any means. But to stand up for what is right, to care for and love others and to have compassion for those that are different from us. I know that the boys at McDonald’s probably weren’t intentionally bullying Cruz. I mean, maybe they were but I can’t imagine why. And I’m trying to figure out why it hurt MY feelings so bad. At one point Jay said to me, “Geez, you look like you’re about to start punching kids!” HA! But it made me so mad that a group of kids could corner and pick on my little guy. And that made me think about the future and about how I’m not always going to be there to rush in and rescue him from the crowd. All I can do is teach him to stand up for what is right and to not to be a bully himself.
Does this freak anyone else out? I don’t think I can handle other kids being mean to my children! I know it’s going to happen. And I know that I can’t shield him from every bad encounter with other kids for his whole entire life. But it pains my heart to think and to know that he’s going to go through life and will experience heartache. Kids will say and do mean things to him. And heaven forbid that he’ll be saying and doing mean things back. It’s these aspects of parenting that I wasn’t prepared for once we started having kids. I instinctively want to come to the defense of my children with all that I have- to protect them from all things bad that this world has to offer. And I know that it’s not possible. And it hurts me deep. I wish there wasn’t bullies in this world. I wish kids weren’t so mean to one another. I wish that I didn’t have to worry about this. I wish it didn’t hurt my feelings so much.
So in the meantime, I’m praying a lot and will be fighting the urge to punch other kids in the face who decide they want to try to bully my Cruz. Because punching other people’s kids only makes ME a big bully which completely contradicts everything I just wrote.

Tags: bullies, bully, getting picked on, kids, mom, motherhood, parenthood, parenting, protecting, toddler