This blog post number 400 comes at no better time.
Every time I reach another 100 posts, I like to take a little bit of time to reflect on the past posts and my life really. I like to think about where I was 100 posts ago and to consider where the next 100 posts are going to take me. This time, I find myself coming out of a difficult chapter in my life. Transitioning with two kids has been pretty hard for me and if you read here regularly, you’ve heard this before. But I really feel like I’ve gained some clarity and that I’m moving forward with some pretty exciting things ahead. I’ve been considering a lot of different things. Researching a lot of different things.
And dreaming about many more.
My whole idea of what it means to be a woman and a mom is completely changing these days. I’ve had some very encouraging and very discouraging conversations with friends and people over the past few weeks that’s really got my brain spinning over what it means to be who I was created to be. I’m really struggling with the typical mom stereotype, but I also find myself enjoying certain aspects of it to. Finding balance, digging to the core of my soul to figure out what I’m passionate about (within my passion, if that makes sense) and working to break the barrier of stereotypes is what I’ve been focusing on.
And I’m not even sure how to do all of that.
We are getting ready to launch our new website for Session Nine Photography here in a couple weeks and I am SO excited about the new direction that we are taking our art, our passion and our business. Things that I find inspiring are shifting. People that I find inspiring are changing. My ideas for this blog are changing- sort of. We’ve got nothing but good and exciting things coming down the pipeline and I feel anxious, exhilarated, inadequate, excited, unsure and totally confident- all rolled into one big ball of emotions.
I’m finding that it sure is complicated being a woman and mom- at least the kind I want to be. And at the end of all of it, it comes down to this for me: I desperately want my boys to grow up and remember how I found passion in this life. I want them to know that I worked hard as their mother, yes. But also as my own self. I am not lost here. I am not forgotten. And while it may be complicated- this place that I am in- I desire to find a balance between all things so that they may know that life isn’t over when you become a mom. Life changes when you become a parent. But it doesn’t have to be what the stereotype says it’s all about. I’m excited to teach them that and to allow them to watch me rediscover who I am, all the while they are a huge part of my life.
So I know this post is weird. I’m in the middle of a transition, so to speak, as I am embarking on the next 100 posts. But I feel like I’m on the brink of something- and I’m not sure what. I guess I feel like I’m on the brink of rediscovering ME.
Isn’t that what this is all about for all of us?

Tags: life, motherhood, not just a mom, passion, rediscovery, womanhood