Tag Archives: mother

dear cruz,

9 Sep

You are about to become a big brother. A BIG BROTHER! It’s pretty crazy that God has chosen you to be a big brother to a little brother. There really is nothing like having a younger sibling or two. Being the oldest is something special indeed. You will have Rider who will look up to you, respect you and want to BE you in a lot of ways. I pray every day that your friendship and love for each other is as strong as me and my sisters. It’s really special Cruz, to have a little brother. It’s something that will be annoying at times and one that you’ll truly grow to value in your life. There aren’t many people who are more important than my sisters. It’s a very special relationship that will always be apart of your life soon here! Mommy and Daddy are so excited for this new change- to add Rider to our crazy life and to bring him home to meet you! For so long you’ve just been talking to and kissing my belly, trying to understand what we mean when we tell you that your brother is in there. And you get to meet him soon! And he will be your little brother always; someone who thinks you are the greatest person on earth and who just wants to be near you, with you and just like you. You have a special role, my son, as big brother. And Mommy can’t believe it’s almost here!

Mommy has been making sure to do some fun things with you this week. We had a special ‘cookie date’ at Paradise Bakery, where I learned that you LOVE the sprinkle cookies as much as I do! I tried to eat the cookie fast so I could have some too, but you loved it and so while we tried to share, you pretty much ate all of it. Ha! Mommy loved sitting there with you as you played with Woody, Buzz and your cars, knowing that these were one of our last little ‘dates’ where Rider wasn’t in the picture. I truly took it all in, watching you eat, laugh and play. Chocolate chips ALL over your mouth and letting you take sips of soda. It was a great memory for Mommy and I always have the best time when it’s the two of us.

Daddy and I took you to Peter Piper Pizza, wondering if there would be things for you to do there since you are so little. But you LOVED it. You loved ‘playing ski-ball’ with Daddy, riding the carousel and playing other various games that you really are too young to play right now. And although you wouldn’t even TASTE the pizza (you’re missing out kid!) you were such a blast to hang out with. When it was time to leave, you didn’t want to go, asking for More! More! We’ll go back there soon, I promise.

I’ve been trying to wrap my brain around what life’s going to look like once Rider’s here. And Mommy has been crying a lot lately, at the thought of it not just being us two anymore. I always wonder if I have had enough time with just you. And while God’s design for our family has looked different than what we planned at this point, we are SO excited for Rider to come. The uncertainty of it all makes me nervous, but I know that God’s grace will cover us and I pray more than anything that it will cover YOU. That this transition will be smooth and gentle on your tender spirit. I promise that Mommy will still give you all the same love and more after Rider comes. I promise that Mommy and Daddy will always take care of you like we do right now. And I promise that once Mommy is feeling better after having Rider, we will have many more cookie dates and McDonald’s dates like we do now. You are my special first born child. I can’t imagine ever loving another child the way I love you. And yet, I know I am about to experience it. I am about to enter into a world where I have TWO little boys to love on and cherish. How did I get so lucky, Cruz? How did God choose YOU to be a part of Mommy and Daddy’s lives? You will never be forgotten as we add onto our family. You will never be left behind. You will always be my little Cruzer, someone who is incredibly special to us and who has changed our lives in all the best ways possible.

You are going to be a big brother. Wow. You are going to be the best big brother there is, I just know it. And always remember how much Mommy and Daddy love you. Always remember how much we are blessed by you. And when you’re a little older and Rider’s getting on your nerves, remember what it means to be a big brother. Have patience with him. He loves and looks up to you so much and only wants to be with and like you every second. You’re one cool dude in his world. Give him grace and space to be his own person. Come to his defense when he needs it, but step back from time to time too. I will always be praying for a healthy brotherly love for you two- that you would be the best of friends who play hard and fight some too (it’s good for the soul!). But that at the end of the day, you would both be Godly men who seek Jesus in every aspect of your lives. And that you would encourage one another, lift each other up, and be the best of friends. No matter how hard life gets or where it may take you.

Mommy loves you Cruz. You are so special to me. You’ve taught me more in these past 22 months than I’ve ever learned in my whole life. Seeing the world through your eyes has taught me more about myself, my friendships, and my perspective than ever before. And you didn’t even know you were doing that for me! You are a very special little guy- the coolest kid on the block, but one with such a sweet, tender spirit and gentle demeanor. Mommy and Daddy wouldn’t change what we have in you for anything. We love you tremendously Cruz. There is no one else like you.

I love you so much,



3 Nov

Cruz is now giving us kisses. And it’s the best thing ever.

I can look right at him and say, “Cruz, can mommy have a kiss?” And I’ll pucker my lips up and he’ll lean in (with his mouth still open cuz he doesn’t know how to pucker his lips) and he’ll plant one on me. I love it so much that I ask him for ‘kisses’ all day long.

Tonight he totally got fed up with me asking for kisses. I can’t blame the kid. I seriously ask him all day long because it’s the cutest thing ever. But he gave me this look tonight that said, “Mom? Seriously?”

I just told him (as he crawled away from me) that I don’t care how old he is, he’s not ever going to be too big or too cool to hug and kiss his mother.

Cruz and MommyCruz and MommyHappy CruzSweet Boy