Tag Archives: mom

hands free

13 Jun

Is anyone else addicted to their iPhone? Does your ENTIRE LIFE exist in it? Do you rely on it A LOT? I do. If my computer exploded, aside from editing photos, I could do the VAST MAJORITY of my work from my phone. That’s pretty neat, if you ask me. That we live in a time and place in history that we are able to enjoy little gadgets like that. And that they enrich our lives as much as they do and help us to be productive.

But lately, Jason and I have been having a heated conversation about whether or not it’s super healthy to be on our phones as much as we are. I say ‘heated’ because it causes me to get a little defensive for some reason (red flag #1). It’s been a good, healthy debate- don’t get me wrong. Weighing the pros and cons of how much we actually use our phones, how often we should be on them, and what it takes away from socially sometimes.

And what it’s taking away from our kids. Yikes.

He shared a blog post that I’m going to share with you today. You may or may not have read it. But holy moly, it is convicting. It makes me wonder exactly how much am I missing in my kids lives, just because I am on my phone. It reaffirmed the conversations that Jay and I have had about how you can be in the room, but not really there. Not listening. Not connecting. Because there is an entire world on the internet that is always distracting me, pulling me in another direction, and vying for my attention. All while two little boys of mine are vying for my attention too. And they don’t know anything about the world wide web.

And nor do they care.

They are going to grow up before my eyes. And I am going to miss it if I am always on my phone. I am going to regret it if all I do is pin stuff, Instagram stuff, and ‘Like’ every status known to man. But I WON’T regret being there for them. I WON’T regret watching them grow up. The internet is always going to be there in some form. But my small, little boys won’t always be. I don’t want them to remember their mom with a phone always in her hands. I want them to remember me as a mom who played with them. Who was silly with them. One who tickled them and made them laugh until they couldn’t laugh anymore. I don’t want them to think I was too busy ‘working’ that I couldn’t build legos with them.

I need to put my phone down more often during the day.

This article was super convicting to me. I’m not saying that being on the phone during the middle of the day or when your kids are awake is a bad thing. BUT, I am suggesting that you read this blog post and figure out what this might mean for your own life with your own kids. There’s a lot of things I HAVE to do during the day through my phone because of the nature of my job and because I have toddlers. I work a lot and at very random times during the day. But is it out of control? Am I too busy on my phone to actually SEE my kids? Am I missing huge parts of their childhood, even though I’m a stay at home mom? That’s what I’m sorting through right now.

Read the blog post HERE. And then make your own conclusions. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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dear cruz and rider,

4 Jun

Sometimes, being busy is a good thing. Sometimes, it’s not. I feel like for myself, these past several weeks have been a mix of both extremes. I have been finding myself extremely overwhelmed with work, thankful for the job I have, busily rushing around you both, AND trying to make intentional time to focus on you and just to be a mom too. This balance that I have to find, I will never understand. I’m often told by other mom’s that it looks like I am super mom. That it looks like I have it all together. And that I do it with grace. While those are HUGE compliments to me and also very encouraging, I DO sometimes feel like the world is running AROUND me. That I’m NOT making time for what’s important. And I’m constantly feeling guilty for the nights that I can’t tuck you in. AmI doing the right things here? Do I work too much? Am I shuffling around my boys- the very REASON why I stayed home to begin with?

It’s a constant battle. One that I fight every day in an effort to make sure that I am maintaining some sort of BALANCE. And it’s not ever easy. I find that in my life, Satan does everything that is possible to make sure that the balance in my life is constantly chaos. If it’s chaos, it means that I am doing something very, very wrong. And it means that I’m not focusing on what’s important here. And that I’m not spending time with Jesus and allowing HIM to direct my steps. It only means that I’m relying on myself and all the things that I think are important to get done. And I’m not focusing on things from above, like the Bible calls us to.

Anyways. I guess this quick little letter is my way of saying. ‘I’m sorry’ to you both. You’re both too little to understand all of this big vocabulary, but someday you will. I’m sorry that I’ve spent the last few months rushing around you, impatient, sleep deprived, and grumpy. Mommy is doing some things to get back on track, including changing my diet so I’m not so irritable. I’ve been really, really horrible at keeping and maintaining any kind of balance these days. And you boys have gotten the short end of the stick, somewhat. I do promise you, that mommy is doing the best that she can. And I promise you that you really ARE the first things I think about when it comes to any decision I have to make. And I promise you that I’m going to strive for more balance in all the areas of our lives. And that when the balance scale is starting to tip, I will be more intentional about spending time with Jesus to get me back on track instead of just plowing forward, hoping the season will end soon.

Even though I am your mommy, and I’m trying to do the very best that I can, I still make mistakes too. I’m still learning and growing too. And I’m so lucky to have both of you as my little boys. Both of you sweet, patient with me, forgiving. And loving me enough to see past the mistakes I’m making along the way. I’m so grateful that we are in this journey together as a support system to one another. That’s what family is. And I’m so glad you’re mine.

I love you all the time.

Mommy xo

 

moved

6 Apr

We did it. We have successfully moved in and MOST of the unpacking is done! I hate being away from blogging, well, ever. I always take a couple breaks throughout the year so I can refocus my thoughts or just get reorganized. This instance it was to focus on getting us moved and into our new space. We happened to move during a week when we shot THREE weddings. So yes, we are crazy. CRAZY. But it was such a great week, honestly. It actually wasn’t stressful at all! But it WAS exhausting. EXHAUSTING. So I’m glad that we’ve had some time to recover and to get our office reset up. We’ve still been working non-stop, but having the space in our home is exactly what we needed. I was about to go crazy in our little apartment with ZERO office space. So to have an entire room dedicated to our work is seriously refreshing.

I have so many fun posts coming up. I finally feel like I can get back to blogging like I want to blog. This blog has always been my creative outlet in a lot of ways. I love to write and to share my crazy thoughts and ramblings. I love sharing my stories of my family, my life, and my experiences. When I go too long without writing here, it starts to feel really crappy. HA. So I’m happy to have gotten us settled again AND to have had a huge burst of creative energy. There’s still mountains of work to be done, but I’m so grateful that God has allowed us to have a bigger home to spread out in. One that inspires us creatively and that keeps us in Scottsdale too. I can’t imagine living in any other city than Scottsdale. If we’re going to be in Arizona, Lord willing, then I think we are in Scottsdale to stay. We are seriously loving it.

I know I’m kind of rambling I think. But it’s late, I’m tired and have a million and one things to blog about. Since I can’t fit them all in one post, I’ll leave you with an image from Instagram of our new home. We’ve been blessed with a perfectly sized home for us. We are so grateful and can’t wait to focus in and work harder than we have been already.

More posts and thoughts to come. Here’s to getting back on track.

little ears

17 Mar

So two days ago I just nonchalantly posted THIS comment on Facebook yesterday:

‘Got great news at Rider’s doctor appointment! He PASSED his hearing test! First time ever in his life to pass 100% and there’s no more fluid in his ears!!’

It was later that I realized that not a lot of people really knew what we’ve been praying for and wondering since Rider was born. So, I thought I’d clarify. I never said anything earlier because we just weren’t really sure what the deal was and wanted to wait until we got some specific answers before we just started saying/announcing things that we just weren’t sure of.

Basically, since Rider was born, we haven’t been 100% positive that he could hear. There was even a small period of time that we thought potentially that he was deaf. When he was born, he failed his hearing test in the hospital twice. FINALLY he passed and since he did, none of the nurses were too concerned with it. Getting a false reading on those tests CAN be normal. When he was four months old, we realized that he never turned to look at us when we made noises or called his name. There was probably a good week solid that I had so prepared my heart for the news that he was deaf. Then, when we were at Disneyland, Jason made a REALLY loud noise near him that startled him into a screaming hysteria.

So that answered our questions, or so we thought.

He then proceeded to fail his six month, nine month, twelve month AND fifteen month hearing tests. But all during this time, we HAD discovered that he COULD hear us. He was responding to us, answering to his name when we called, and could follow basic directions that most kids can follow at his age. We just weren’t sure to WHAT degree he could hear. His pediatrician could see fluid in his ears, but nothing too concerning. He never seemed to have ear infections that bothered him. No fevers, no illness, no staying up all night with discomfort. So I never pushed wanting to see a specialist JUST YET. I knew that sometimes fluid in the ears could go away and IF that’s what was causing the problem, we wanted to see if it would clear up on its own.

His doctor agreed, mostly because he wasn’t in any pain. It was to be at THIS last appointment that we would have discussed further options.

BUT, we went and got GREAT news! He has no more fluid in his ears AND he FINALLY passed his hearing test in both ears!! I was so ecstatic when the doctor said that his ears looked great. And I was relieved to know that he CAN hear! The next steps from here is to really work with him and encourage him to start talking. Our doctor wants us to wait until past his second birthday to discuss going to a speech therapist. One COULD say that he’s a little behind on his talking, but we’re going to wait and see how things progress there. He’s not behind on anything else and it could just be that his speech has been a little delayed due to the difficulty he’s likely had with his hearing.

So for today, we are THRILLED to know that Rider CAN hear. Whether he can hear or not obviously doesn’t change how much we love this kid. And if he WAS deaf or partially deaf, we would have embraced that news and made the absolute best of it. But we are thankful for little ears that can hear the way they were intended to hear. It’s a prayer I’ve been praying for since he was born and I’m very thankful to have an answer.

Sorry I wasn’t too public about it! We just wanted to be sure of what was going on before we said TOO much. But thank you to those of you who were aware and who were praying for us too! We are beyond grateful for a community of people who are crazy about our kids like we are.

vegas bound!

20 Feb

This is where I’m going for a couple of days this week!!

Woo hoo! Jason and I are heading to Las Vegas for WPPI which is a huge convention that happens annually for photographers. We are STOKED to be able to make it this year! So we packed up and headed out! And YES. The boys are going with us! We love traveling with them and bringing them with us whenever we can. And we are blessed this trip to have my mom on board to help watch them when we are at the convention. I’m so thrilled that she was willing to come. We rented an awesome house in Las Vegas from Home Away.com so we all have room to spread out. It’s SUCH a great alternative to renting a hotel. We’ve stayed in multiple homes from this site and we haven’t been disappointed yet.

The boys actually travel pretty well. So long as the snacks don’t run out and the DVD player doesn’t die. And I’m so grateful they do because I LOVE to travel. Traveling with kiddos might be hard sometimes, but it’s always worth the experience. We never wanted having the boys to slow us down too much. I think kids join your life and go where you go and do what you do. So while it DOES take a lot of planning to head out of town with kids, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

We’ll take lots of photos! Can’t wait to share them!

* Image found on Pinterest.

b and amen

17 Feb

When you have bronchitis, you cough and cough and cough and cough. A LOT. Cruz coughed so much and so hard tonight that he gagged. And then he threw up. All over B and Amen.

B and Amen are his two security ‘blankets’. They aren’t actually blankets, but two stuffed animals. The little bear/blanket has a ‘B’ on the blanket part. So naturally, we started calling him ‘B’. The sleeping stuffed bear he named Amen. When you press his hand, he says a prayer and closes by saying, ‘Amen’. Well, he actually doesn’t say it anymore because he wore it out. But he used to. Regardless, B and Amen are very, VERY special to him.

So back to the gagging.

He gagged and threw up all over B and Amen. SO I had to wash them and I had to wash them FAST. It was almost 7:00pm when this incident occurred and he wouldn’t have been a happy camper if he couldn’t go to bed with B and Amen. He already was slightly distraught that he couldn’t lay with them on the couch watching TV. So I hurried and washed them in a full cycle. And when they came out, they both looked so squeaky clean that it made me a little nostalgic. So I had to take a picture of these two little stuffed animals that I will keep forever. And someday I’ll look back on them, and on this picture, and remember when he was so little and so sweet and so precious. And how B and Amen were very special to him.

What a sweet little guy.

job description

1 Feb

I went to MOPS last week, and the topic was The Calling of Motherhood. TIMELY, in my life. I struggled HARD with this topic during the entire month of January and I never told anyone about it.

God heard me. And I hadn’t even called out to him about it, I’m ashamed to admit.

So I sat in MOPS and silently held back and wiped away some tears as the amazing speaker was speaking. She gave us a packet of information to follow along with as she spoke. In there was a Job Description For Mothers. It resonated with me a lot and so I wanted to share it here. The rest of my thoughts on my mini identity crisis will be for another post. Because it’s a lot to explain and I’m still sorting through it myself.

Job Description For Mothers

Motherhood isn’t for quitters; the fainthearted need not apply. On the job training, mandatory. Selfishness detrimental to job satisfaction. Working hours long but flexible. Ability to pray without ceasing is clearly advantageous. Remuneration where you find it- in a toddlers belly laugh or a teenagers “thanks Mom”. Some days are more demanding than others but heavenly help and forgiveness available on call 24 hours a day. Love for God and respect for His guidelines important if job is to be secure. Becoming and remaining a mother is a permanent event.