Tag Archives: marriage

husbands

16 Mar

TODAY. I’m talking about our husbands. And how important our roles is as wives.

The next verse in my study of Proverbs is:

‘Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.’ Proverbs 31:23

It’s pretty crazy to me that this verse would reside right smack dab in the middle of describing this amazing woman of noble character. It hit me hard how incredibly important our roles as GOOD wives and mothers really is. The success of our husbands is dependent on it. I know that each man is responsible for his own choices and mistakes, so I am not saying that as wives we are responsible for every decision, good or bad, that our husbands make. But I AM saying that we, as their wives, have an incredible amount of influence. We set the tone in the entire home; the thermostat, if you will. We have the power to support, encourage, and lift up. Or we can easily build strife, tear down and discourage within our homes.

Whoa. There’s a lot of damage that could be done if we, the wives, aren’t careful.

The bible also says,“A wife of noble character is her husbands crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.” Proverbs 12:4

DECAY? In his bones? That’s the same as death. Being a disgraceful wife is the same as decay in his bones. BUT a crown to her husband, is something he is proud of. He cherishes it and wears it proudly. He knows his wife supports him and can leave to head to his work with confidence. He is confident in her and in all that she does for their family and he loves her. He’s proud of her.

He’s respected in the city gates, which is where all the  business and legal matters were once settled. It was considered a high honor for a man to sit in the gates. He likely would have had to achieved a certain amount of business success and he was very wise. It wasn’t a place for fools. This man was highly respected. He was a very hard worker. He endured much to obtain the status that he now holds. And it’s likely that he didn’t do it alone. The support of his faithful and fearless wife was probably the backbone to all of his success. Her persistent prayers for him, her encouraging words to him, her uplifting spirits and positive attitudes probably helped spur him on to all that God was calling him to. This man has the full support of his wife. And she believes in him to be an amazing man of God. She didn’t nag him. She never stole his courage. She wasn’t an enemy in his own home. This woman realized how great her husband was. He wasn’t average. He was a great man. And she knew that this man needed a helper in his life. She didn’t work to tear him down, or to be resentful towards him, or harboring anger. She faithfully loved him through supporting his work and taking care of their family.

Everything  we do as wives makes a huge impact on our husbands. And I think its so important to remember, that while we are busy running our households, we are also representing him. The bible is full of verses that talk about how dangerous it is to be a wife of contention (Proverbs 25:24, Proverbs 21:19, Proverbs 27:15). This is a wife that doesn’t create harmony, one who argues, one who nags. Nothing good comes from bitterness in our hearts towards our husbands and anger that makes your home living environment unbearable. WE are the thermostats in our home. And as hard as it may be to love and support your husband at times, its important. Your husband IS amazing. You married him, right?! Why not help encourage him to BE amazing in whatever it is that he is doing? Pray for him. Pray for protection around him. Pray that he would be used to glorify God in the ways that HE sees fit. Not in the ways YOU see fit. Pray for God’s will in his life and that he WOULD lead your home. Be your husbands biggest cheerleader. Be his biggest prayer warrior. It’s SO important to remember that you are a team, together in this life. And while you might not be the one going outside of the home to make a living, he IS. And it can be a dark and scary place for a man to stand alone.

I’m aware that marriage is hard. I married a very easy going, workable guy who has been a team with me in everything so far in this life together. But STILL, marriage is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It’s so important to take care of one another. Take care of your home and husband as though it’s your ministry. It’s a window into your heart and the success of your husband depends on it. I have to remind myself every day that my home is my ministry. Not that I don’t love it, but because it’s HARD. This job as a wife and mother is hard, sacrificial work. But making the choice every day to love, respect and support your husband isn’t an option, I think. The bible is pretty clear that we are to be our husbands crown. A valuable partner in his life, taking care of him, our family and working hard too. Jesus never promises that ANY of this is going to be easy. But I can see the rewards of this woman’s hard work just LEAPING off the page at me. Do you think she felt rewarded every day?

No. I guarantee she didn’t.

But she was faithful. Faithful to her husband, supportive in his work, and loved him. Their whole family was respected by the entire city. Something that was achieved by the TWO of them working together. a faithful team until the end. And an amazing example for us all.

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full confidence

7 Nov

I started a new series that I’ll be aiming to post on Mondays until it’s completed. I’m pretty excited about it and hope you’ll be just as encouraged in it as I am!  I’ve really been trying to focus on Proverbs 31 about The Wife of Noble Character. Each week I’m trying to take a verse or two from it and dissect it and just really think on what is being said through it. I really want to lean into the wisdom that is inside these verses. There is so much- SO MUCH for me/us to learn from this woman. And there’s so much I neglect, but that I aspire to be when I read these verses. It’s inspiring, convicting and encouraging all at once.

I hope that this series encourages you too.

Last week, I only talked about verse 10 and what a wife of noble character means and is. Well, I scratched the surface of it, really, as I’m sure we could have enormous discussions on what it means to be a wife of noble character. If you’d like to read that post, you can check it out HERE. I’ve thought a lot about that this week, and it really has encouraged me. I’ve thought a lot about my character this week and what I do AND don’t like about it. And what I need to work on. It’s sort of humbling to think about your character, isn’t it? When I thought about whether or not my character was NOBLE or not, I was definitely convicted. But I was also encouraged because it showed me so much of what I desire to be.

This week I’m going to talk about verse eleven and twelve. They go hand in hand, I think. AND it’s really interesting that these verses follow a verse that talks about a woman/wife’s character. The verses are:

“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:11-12

I think these two verses go hand in hand here. As a wife of noble character, her husband can do nothing BUT have full confidence in her. Her character is excellent, exalted, magnificent. Wouldn’t YOU have full confidence in someone like that? Of course you would! Someone who has such excellent character can be nothing but trusted. Of course her husband has full confidence in her. Her character is incredible. It’s NOBLE. It then goes on to say that he isn’t missing anything that is of value when it comes to her. He fully trusts her. Although I know what the word ‘confidence’ means, I still wanted to check out its’ full definition, and this is the very first definition there is:

– full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing. Having every confidence in their ability to succeed.

This woman’s husband TRUSTS her. He BELIEVES in her. And he knows with full confidence that she will be successful at whatever it is that she does.

I think that the next verse, verse twelve, speaks to her very character right off the bat. It says that she brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. Breaking this verse down, first I see that she BRINGS him good. It doesn’t say that she waits until he deserves it, presents it whenever she feels like it, or that she only gives it to him sometimes. It says she brings him GOOD not harm, ALL the days of her life. No exceptions. I think it’s so easy to forget this as wives. Isn’t it? It’s always really easy to think about what our husbands aren’t doing and to bring a critical spirit. It’s easier to focus on the negative, and to see the things that don’t get done.

I’m guilty of this sometimes.

When I think about what it means to bring good, NOT harm to our husbands, I think this can mean many, many things. It can mean just bringing a joyful spirit to your home. It can mean lifting him up when you’re around your peers, instead of talking negatively about him in front of other people. It can mean being his biggest supporter, no matter what life may bring, until the day you die. It can mean just being content in your life. Or just proud of him for working so hard. Or just because he’s an amazing dad. It can mean bringing words of affirmation into your home and lifting him up, even when you don’t feel like it.

It’ll look a little different for all of us in our lives. But what I’m reading doesn’t say WHAT good we are supposed to bring. But we are just supposed to bring it.

And we are called not to harm him. It doesn’t say that you can bring him harm a little bit if he really deserves it, or that you can just bring him down verbally behind his back a little bit because he really made you mad. It says that  no harm should be brought to him. He is protected by his wife, in many ways, ALL the days of her life. ALL of them.

And I think he has full confidence in her because of this. He KNOWS she’s got his back, come what may in this life time. And she also flourishes because he trusts her so much. What a beautiful, beautiful verse. One I never really took the time to ponder. I think a wife like this really starts from within. It starts with your character. Excellent character that does nothing but bleed out joy, happiness, trust and goodness. A character that moves you to go out of your way to bring your husband good to his life, ALL the days of yours. One where harming him isn’t even an option. She trusts him too. And it’s a really amazing cycle that I see here in these two verses.

I love being a wife. I really do. But it’s so easy to go about all the to-dos of the day and to forget to view your relationship as a ministry. As a mission field. It’s easy to forget that we are called too, to serve our husbands and to bring good to their lives. To let is spring from the depths of your character so it is a true reflection of your heart. Even three verses in, I’m seeing how important our characters as women really is. How matters of the heart really do matter. For what your character really is, is what will flow out. And what flows out spills onto others.

Onto our husbands. And our children even.

Our character is a direct reflection of where our heart really is. Who we REALLY are. And how we treat people. Most importantly, our husbands.

Phew. It’s heavy stuff to my heart. But so, so good.

equals

27 Jan

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, about how truly grateful I am to have Jason as my husband and partner in this life. He’s a fabulous dad to our children, he works harder than most people I know, and he seriously has the biggest heart ever. He always sees the best in people, even if it’s hard to actually see the good. He’s loyal to a fault and he treasures his friends. Above all, he supports me in EVERYTHING I do. He never makes me feel like my place is only in the home. And even though he gets up and works every day, he helps me with the boys no matter how little sleep he gets. He doesn’t expect dinner to be on the table every night. He helps with all things around the house. He loves the Lord and he lives it out in the way takes care of me. No matter what crazy idea I have, he supports it. He values that I don’t want to be just a mom and that I love to work. He was behind me in my passion for photography and backed me and us up 100%. He’s working hard to help us get out of debt. He gives me breaks and watches both boys whenever I need or want him to, if he’s available and spends so much of his time with us.

I just feel truly blessed by him.

I’m not trying to paint the wrong picture here. We totally argue and fight sometimes. We butt heads on things. Things aren’t perfect. But I don’t want them to be. At the end of the day, I know I have his full support in my life and with our kids and that’s all I can really ever ask for. I truly feel like we are equals in this life. Never has he said, ‘Well, I go to work and you stay home so the kids aren’t my responsibility.’. In fact, he’s done the opposite. When I prayed for my future husband as a little girl I had no idea to the extent at which God was going to bless me. And like I said, things aren’t perfect. We fight, we argue sometimes. We’ve been to counseling before. But no matter how hard it gets, I know that this man that I married is my equal and that he loves me and our kiddos more than anything, and that he will go to great lengths to show me that and to support me in my life too.

I love sharing the roles with him. I love doing this life with him. Even through the hard times, there’s nothing I would trade.

happy father’s day

20 Jun

I am so blessed beyond words… To have married a man who is the greatest husband, father and companion I could have ever asked for. Once again, I am reminded of all he does for us. How hard he works for us. How involved he is with Cruz. How much he values me, supports me, loves me, loves us, and the man of God that he is. When I would pray for my future husband, I had no idea to what degree God would bless me with this leader in our home. Through all ups and downs, he puts God first. Through all ups and downs, he loves me. I’ve watched him love Cruz and step into fatherhood effortlessly. Never have I felt like we weren’t a team in marriage and parenthood. He walks right next to me through it all.

I am so incredibly blessed that Jason is the father of my children. And that he is my husband for all of my life.

Happy Father’s Day Jason! There is no greater man I could have ever chosen to do this thing called ‘life’ with me. And I love you and appreciate you more than you’ll ever know or realize.

And um… Let’s please not forget how incredibly CUTE this was! I came across Cruz’s first Halloween and I had to share this picture again. Holy smokes, this was the best thing ever!

engaged!

18 Mar

Monday, March 15th was a day that changed my little sis’ life! My baby sister, Danielle, got engaged to her boyfriend of two years, Cameron! It’s been a long time coming for them. They’ve known each other for almost seven years and Cameron will tell you that he’s been hoping for her to be his wife for a long, long time. Aw!

So Cameron called me almost a month ago to tell me that he was going to ask Danielle to marry him, and it wasn’t a shock to me at all. To be honest, I was expecting the call any day! He had said that he and Danielle had looked at rings and that Danielle had seen one that she loved. She wasn’t expecting an engagement for at least another six months, but he was prepared to propose much, much sooner! I headed to the jewelry shop with him shortly after our convo to take pictures of him purchasing her beautiful ring!

Then the planning began. Cameron and I went back and forth about where the best place for him to propose would be. Cameron asked Jason and I to be there to take some pictures of the entire proposal, so we chatted almost daily about creative ideas. The thing that made it tricky, is that my sister knows Cameron SO well, that he was worried she would know he was up to something. It had to be a proposal that would completely catch her off guard because he wanted her to be completely surprised! To his surprise, a few days before Cameron was going to propose, Danielle suggested that they go to the zoo- on the very day that he was planning to propose!! Cameron decided it was perfect. It was “her idea” and she would suspect nothing. So he totally went with it. It was perfect.

Cameron and Danielle spent the day at the zoo and Jason and I arrived at the zoo right at 4:30. Cameron had to hide the fact that he was texting me to make sure we were in the same spot! Jason and I stationed ourselves right in front of the zebras, in the bushes and brush. I was convinced that a staff member at the zoo was going to wonder what we were up to! Especially since I was hiding behind an electrical box! Ha! I even looked around at one point and couldn’t see Jason anymore- he hid himself SO well! Finally, we saw them coming!! I was more nervous than ever, and Danielle had no idea what was about to happen!!

So they checked out the zebras for a few minutes. And I’m pretty sure I could hear Cameron’s heart beating out of his chest! And right at the moment where I could see Danielle getting impatient and getting ready to take control of the zoo map, Cameron grabbed all of her things out of her arms (purse and all!) and placed it on the bench. He got down on one knee, and gave her the biggest surprise of all!

WILL YOU MARRY ME???

YES!

I was hiding behind the bushes, crying, and taking video because my little baby sister just got engaged!! And after Danielle and Cameron were finished hugging, Cameron pointed over to where I was hiding with a camera and both Danielle and I lost it. Well, Danielle was already crying happy tears! But she was so happy to know I was there witnessing her amazing moment!

Yes, that’s me running to her once she saw me!

Next we all spent the evening celebrating! We had a family dinner celebration planned, but it wasn’t set to start until later in the evening. So Dani, Cam, Jason and I all headed down to Z’ Tejas on Mill Avenue to grab appetizers and to recap the proposal. Then we shopped at Urban Outfitters and roamed the streets, laughed and just had a blast.

Then we headed to Macayo’s for dessert to see the whole family! It was so fun to have everyone together to celebrate Dani and Cameron’s engagement! We all ate way too much food, laughed way too hard, and had so much fun.

The whole day was about Danielle and Cameron and it was very special! Weird that I’m going to have a brother-in-law. Weirder that I’ve known him longer than I’ve known Jason! Ha! But Cameron is just like my brother and I’m so stoked he’s going to be my family. He makes my sister so very happy and I can’t wait to see and be apart of their lives unfolding together.  I’ll be posting pictures all through their engagement, I’m sure. So keep your eyes peeled for updates and such.

Congrats Dani and Cameron! I can’t believe the time has finally come for you guys to get married!! Remember not to stress too much during this time- it’s supposed to be fun and a way to celebrate the beginning of your lives together. Woo hoo!

And these are too funny NOT to post. Hahahaha

date night

12 Dec

Date nights have to be one of my favorite things ever. Jason and I used to have date nights all the time- especially since we’ve been married. We always said that once we had kids that that would be one thing we’d always hang onto.

Well, we had a kiddo and the first thing to go was a constant date night.

It wasn’t intentional or entirely our fault. When we decided that I was going to stay home full time with Cruz, our finances were cut in half. So there wasn’t much money- at all- to just be doing much extra. We’ve had months where even buying an ice-cream cone at McDonald’s would have been a big time bad move on our finances. So movie night/dinner dates/coffee dates were definitely not always a possibility.

Time was also an issue. We started our own business, which has completely taken off, and almost all of our extra time has gone into editing- which takes hours and hours and hours. We definitely love it and it’s a creative process for us and we work together. But editing for an entire evening is not date night. And our business is our livelihood right now, so we can’t really afford to let it slip by the wayside.

But the other issue is that we just haven’t made it a big priority like we normally have. And it’s taken it’s toll a little bit in the sense that we just feel like we are always working- all of the time. We need a break too and we need a regular one without Cruz.

So we went on a date night last night and it was so much fun! We both agree that we have to get back to having a weekly date night. And that is our commitment. To make sure that we are constantly doing the things that we’ve always loved to do together. This whole season has really made me realize that marriage takes a lot of work. And I wouldn’t give anything that we have to be newlyweds again. Life definitely gets so much better as the years go by because we have experience behind us and we grow together. But we’ve always said that we never want to stop dating, even when we’ve been married for 25 years. And that’s a good thing because no matter how hard life gets, I never want to stop dating Jay.

what if the whole world prayed?

26 May

1yssggI know it’s speculation. And really none of my business.

But I still have so many thoughts about it. And I can’t shake it.

Jason and I watched the season premiere of Jon and Kate Plus 8 on Monday night. I was expecting to tune in and see the opposite of the drama that’s been reported. And I’m not a huge gossip magazine reader… I don’t listen to tabloids… I’m interested like the rest of the world sometimes, but generally, I don’t really keep up too much.

Their drama’s been hard to avoid.

I was hoping to tune in and to see that the media is actually blowing their situation way out of proportion- pictures taken that weren’t actually what they looked like, rumors expelled…

It broke my heart, what we watched.

What we watched was either one of two things. It was either 1). a family on the verge of divorce, under the limelight, stressed, and being pulled apart by the media or 2). a media frenzy being created by starting rumors about this family in order to drive more ratings for the show.

Either way, I am heart broken for them.

After the show, Jason posted on his twitter and he asked ‘What if the whole world prayed for the Gosselins?’ And that really got me thinking.

What if the whole world actually prayed for the Gosselin’s?

That is an amazing thought. I feel as though Jon and Kate have been entrusted with a responsibility. The entire world is watching. And how truly amazing would it be if they were able to salvage their marriage after all this? To work through the extremely hard times and to come through on the other end? To say that by the grace of God they were able to stand by one another as they vowed to do? For God to be glorified through them after this hard time?

Wow. That thought just blows me away.

They have a platform, to say the least. People are watching them. People are waiting for them to mess up and split up. And that makes me deeply sad for them.

The entire energy of the show on Monday was completely different than the Gosslin’s we’ve all come to love. Maybe they are just trying to be honest and display this season in their lives. Maybe it’s all staged, and then that’s an entirely different set of issues. Maybe they’re just caught up in this huge responsibility and have lost sight of what’s important.

We’ve all done that, haven’t we?

I just hope they realize that the best thing for their kids is not to split up. It’s to stick together when things just suck and to complete what they vowed to do when they started their lives together.