Tag Archives: exhaustion

no motivation

23 Oct

I have no motivation to write much tonight. I really, really want to. But I am exhausted.

Truly, exhausted.

When I sat down to write this post, I noticed the time. And I realized that I most likely have 10 minutes until Rider is going to wake up and want to eat again. So that means I will have had a whole ten minutes to myself today, which makes for one exhausting day.

Kids are exhausting. If you’re a mamma, you know that this is true. That the word tired has no meaning until you have children. I can’t believe I thought I was tired before they were born.

Oh well. Some days are better than others. And while I’m exhausted today (and will be praying for amazing sleep tonight), I can only hope, pray and know that tomorrow has to be better. And today wasn’t even a bad day! It was just an exhausting one!

And there’s the baby. Which means my ten minutes are up.


at a loss

12 Apr

I’m at a loss for words tonight. I’m not sure exactly why. Nothing terrible happened or anything. I guess I had a pretty hard day today- mostly emotionally. I’m sorting through a lot of things in my heart. I’m trying to get more rest. I chased an energetic toddler who didn’t nap at all today.

I’m drained. I’m exhausted. I’m stressed.

I’m ready for certain things to be in place. And I’m ready to move on from others. I feel like we’re in a very ‘in-between’ spot in our lives in a lot of aspects and it’s draining me.

I don’t really know what else to say other than that. So I’m not going to. Once I sort it all out, I’ll make some sense of it on here, I’m sure.

Until then, I will leave you with an adorable picture of me and Cruz from Jason’s cousin’s wedding last August. Cruz was only 9 months old! Wow, how they change in only a few months!


29 Mar

I am always exhausted these days. I have been slacking on the blogging because Cruz has been pretty sick this week. Nothing too major- he had a fever last week which lasted all night Tuesday night. It never went higher than 100.1, but he was still pretty miserable. Then Wednesday morning, I had an extremely sore throat that I wondered if I caught from him. It’s so hard to tell when your baby’s throat is sore. Especially since he can’t tell me that. But he wasn’t eating anything and only wanted to drink cold liquids, mainly juice and water, so that led me to believe that he possibly had a sore throat too. Then his fever disappeared so I didn’t call the pediatrician.

Then it turned into a bad cold, and he’s been pretty difficult for the remainder of the week even though his appetite has returned. But we’re on the up n up so that’s relieving! Jason’s not feeling too well today, but I think we are near the end of the sore throat/cold/flu situation that seems to be going around.

Thank God. I hate when Cruz and Jason are sick!

That said, I’m exhausted and would like nothing more than to sleep for two weeks straight to catch up on the past week. Since that’s not going to be happening, I’ll settle for a short post and a couple adorable pictures that Jay took of Cruz yesterday while we were at Los Favoritos. Have you ever eaten there? You must.

Jay’s such an amazing photographer. And Cruz is an amazing subject! I think you’ll agree.

Now I’m off to bed. Maybe it’ll be for two weeks in my dreams…

endless energy & exhaustion

8 Feb

These are my thoughts exactly.

What an incredibly long day. What a long weekend.

Cruz traveled home a little better. It was still rough, but the airplane ride was way more tolerating than it was the way there. We had two flights today- the first was from Seattle to Sacramento. The second was from Sacramento to Phoenix. I think it helped Cruz that it was a little more broken up and that he was able to stretch his legs between flights. But the last stretch was kinda rough.

We are exhausted. It was a great weekend (exhausting and long, but still great!) and we are feeling pretty positive that we’ve made some decisions. No, I’m not ready to share them yet. We need to tell a few people what we’re thinking first before we go announcing a decision. Sorry! It will be soon, I promise. It feels good that we are at the beginning of moving into our decisions. I’m ready to make something happen rather than to just wonder about it and hope and think. We finally did get some clarity this weekend and so that feels good too. But it’s been exhausting.

Speaking of exhaustion, this whole ‘extreme fatigue’ thing that happens in your first trimester is really hitting me hard. I think that was a huge factor as to why this weekend was super difficult for me- that on top of the normal stresses of a trip like that. It’s so hard that I can’t just lay down and sleep until I feel better. When I was pregnant with Cruz, I slept my first trimester away I’m pretty sure. But now that I have to take care of Cruz, I can’t just stop and sleep all day. I know everyone gets through it because everyone has more than one kid usually and everyone is working it out. But it’s just hard to feel completely exhausted but to have to run around with an almost 15 month old- who has more energy than any little kid I’ve ever known. I mean, seriously. Geez.

Before we left the bed and breakfast this morning to catch our flight, I looked out the window and saw this:

That is Cruz’s toy camera that he decided to throw out the window at some point during our stay. In case you weren’t aware, it rains a lot in Seattle. So after I spotted it, I had to bundle myself up and Cruz and head around the house to go retrieve the toy camera. Which was soaking wet and struggling to work. When I got there, I found three other toys that he had thrown outside the window when I wasn’t looking.

Endless energy. I’m laughing about it now, but there are times when his endless energy kinda drives me nuts! Ha!

weary day

7 Feb

I’m not really sure what’s going on. But it’s been a very, very difficult weekend for Cruz. I mean, he’s been really acting up and just extremely difficult this weekend. And if you know my kiddo at all, you know that he is anything but difficult. Even Jay, who characteristically gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, agrees that Cruz is just kind of being a terror this weekend.

And we can’t figure out why.

He had a difficult time on the airplane and never really recovered since we’ve gotten here. He’s still his happy self at times, but just being really naughty, moody, fussy and difficult. Way more than usual. I can’t tell what the deal is. He hasn’t been eating well at all. Grapes. The kid has been filling up on grapes. But he doesn’t really want much else- even his favorites! He’s drinking a lot of milk and water, so that’s good at least, because I know he’s hydrated. And at least he’s getting some nutrients from the milk. He’s not sleeping super well. We were up and down with him last night and couldn’t figure out why. He has a small diaper rash. Is it his teeth? I haven’t ruled it out, but he’s not drooling like he usually does when his teeth are bugging him.


I’ve almost had a breakdown a few times while we’re here, I’m not going to lie. Traveling with a kiddo is an entirely different ball game. I’m exhausted from the weekend and I’m 8 weeks pregnant. I’m worried about Cruz a little bit, simply because he’s been acting so weird. I don’t believe in signs really, but is it a sign that we aren’t supposed to be here? Ha! When we’re outside and when he can run around, he’s a happy camper. I just don’t know what to make of this.

I’m just really exhausted physically and mentally. I’m praying for some clarity tomorrow (Sunday) because until now we seriously don’t have an answer either way as to what we want to do. Or what we should do. Or what God’s telling us to do. I’m just feeling completely overwhelmed and have to trouble shoot with Cruz like I’ve never had to before. All while keeping a smile on my face since we are in fact, being interviewed.

All I really want to do is take a five hour nap and watch HGTV all day long. Especially Color Splash. It’s my favorite.

So we are tired and running on empty a little bit. Please say a prayer for us if you think of it. I don’t remember the last time I’ve been this tired and anxious about our situation and really need some strength. It was just a long, weary day. And I’m ready to come home, know the plan and get working on moving. To either city we decide. I just want a decision. And to go to bed. And for Cruz to sleep all night long.