Tag Archives: decisions

scottsdale, baby!

19 Feb

Yes, we have reached a decision!

You might remember that Jason and I have been give two amazing opportunities. Two opportunities that are nothing alike and that are in two completely different states. Seattle, Washington and Scottsdale, Arizona. Coming to this decision has been a difficult process for us. We so desperately wanted to make the right decision for our family and we honestly could have seen ourselves in both places. But since we can only be in one place…

We have decided to stay in Arizona and Jason has accepted a position at Scottsdale Bible Church!!

We are so happy to have been able to finally come to this decision. I have loved the community at SBC for all of my life. It’s the church I grew up in and started attending when I was seven years old. I’ve been super involved there since I was a little girl- Sunday school, Awanas, Jr. High, High School, Choir Tour, volunteering in the nursery. My parents were apart of the Choir and Orchestra there- my mom is still in the orchestra there and loves it more than anything. There are so many more things that I’ve been apart of at this church. There is a community of people there that I have been craving for a long, long time. It’s a Biblically based, God-filled, financially responsible church that really, truly cares about people. There isn’t really any other place like it in the valley.

And it’s home for me.

When we were in Seattle, we really truly prayed for clarity in our decision. I wanted to get off the plane and ‘immediately know’. We even had people that were praying for us telling us that we would have a clear direction just by being in Seattle. And it’s weird- that honestly didn’t happen. While we were in Seattle, we fell in love with the city. There is no place like it! It’s such a beautiful and amazing place- we definitely could have seen ourselves living there. The community at the church we were considering was fantastic. Everyone we came into contact with was extraordinary. The church there was awesome and we could have seen ourselves there easily too.

The truth is, I really feel like I had the clarity I needed before I even left- and I didn’t even know it! Seeing Seattle and the church and meeting the people didn’t change the way I feel about Scottsdale Bible Church. This is a community that I am deeply in love with and it excites me to no end to be apart of it once again. And that is how I wanted to feel about Seattle in order for us to make a move 1,400 miles away. And there was nothing wrong with the Seattle opportunity. It would have been a great fit for us too!

Before the plane touched back down in Phoenix on our return, we knew where our hearts were. And we knew what God was telling us. Even though we couldn’t tell most of you right away. We were both bombarded with emails, texts, face book messages with all of our loving friends eagerly wanting to know where exactly it is that we were going to go. I apologize if I still haven’t gotten back to you. But we needed to wait to share until we respectively told both churches the decision that we had made.

So we are heading to Scottsdale to be apart of a very healthy, thriving community. A place where we can focus on what we love to do but most importantly- focus on people.

(And yes, we are moving there. No, I’m not sure when. And yes, we are still doing photography- even when we move. I will drive anywhere for my work and my art so please, please know that we are still very actively taking pictures in this state!)

We have been so blessed by God during these past months in our lives. He’s removed us from where we belonged no longer, He’s provided for us while we were waiting on Him, and He presented us with more than we could have ever hoped for with these two decisions. Two decisions that we truly feel He would have blessed us in either way. What freedom we have been given ever since October. I’m blown away by how much life has changed for us. I’m blown away with how we’ve been able (along with most of you) to physically watch the hand of God guide our steps. May I never forget at how He’s taken care of us. May I never doubt Him again whenever life seems like it doesn’t make sense. When I can’t see how He’ll provide, I pray that I will KNOW that He will.

All that I have learned I am grateful for. And I am thrilled for the future in a city that makes my heart beat like it hasn’t in a long time.

Thank you for praying for and encouraging us like you have! We’ve felt very surrounded and supported by so many of you and we can’t thank you enough!

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endless energy & exhaustion

8 Feb

These are my thoughts exactly.

What an incredibly long day. What a long weekend.

Cruz traveled home a little better. It was still rough, but the airplane ride was way more tolerating than it was the way there. We had two flights today- the first was from Seattle to Sacramento. The second was from Sacramento to Phoenix. I think it helped Cruz that it was a little more broken up and that he was able to stretch his legs between flights. But the last stretch was kinda rough.

We are exhausted. It was a great weekend (exhausting and long, but still great!) and we are feeling pretty positive that we’ve made some decisions. No, I’m not ready to share them yet. We need to tell a few people what we’re thinking first before we go announcing a decision. Sorry! It will be soon, I promise. It feels good that we are at the beginning of moving into our decisions. I’m ready to make something happen rather than to just wonder about it and hope and think. We finally did get some clarity this weekend and so that feels good too. But it’s been exhausting.

Speaking of exhaustion, this whole ‘extreme fatigue’ thing that happens in your first trimester is really hitting me hard. I think that was a huge factor as to why this weekend was super difficult for me- that on top of the normal stresses of a trip like that. It’s so hard that I can’t just lay down and sleep until I feel better. When I was pregnant with Cruz, I slept my first trimester away I’m pretty sure. But now that I have to take care of Cruz, I can’t just stop and sleep all day. I know everyone gets through it because everyone has more than one kid usually and everyone is working it out. But it’s just hard to feel completely exhausted but to have to run around with an almost 15 month old- who has more energy than any little kid I’ve ever known. I mean, seriously. Geez.

Before we left the bed and breakfast this morning to catch our flight, I looked out the window and saw this:

That is Cruz’s toy camera that he decided to throw out the window at some point during our stay. In case you weren’t aware, it rains a lot in Seattle. So after I spotted it, I had to bundle myself up and Cruz and head around the house to go retrieve the toy camera. Which was soaking wet and struggling to work. When I got there, I found three other toys that he had thrown outside the window when I wasn’t looking.

Endless energy. I’m laughing about it now, but there are times when his endless energy kinda drives me nuts! Ha!

weary day

7 Feb

I’m not really sure what’s going on. But it’s been a very, very difficult weekend for Cruz. I mean, he’s been really acting up and just extremely difficult this weekend. And if you know my kiddo at all, you know that he is anything but difficult. Even Jay, who characteristically gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, agrees that Cruz is just kind of being a terror this weekend.

And we can’t figure out why.

He had a difficult time on the airplane and never really recovered since we’ve gotten here. He’s still his happy self at times, but just being really naughty, moody, fussy and difficult. Way more than usual. I can’t tell what the deal is. He hasn’t been eating well at all. Grapes. The kid has been filling up on grapes. But he doesn’t really want much else- even his favorites! He’s drinking a lot of milk and water, so that’s good at least, because I know he’s hydrated. And at least he’s getting some nutrients from the milk. He’s not sleeping super well. We were up and down with him last night and couldn’t figure out why. He has a small diaper rash. Is it his teeth? I haven’t ruled it out, but he’s not drooling like he usually does when his teeth are bugging him.

*sigh*

I’ve almost had a breakdown a few times while we’re here, I’m not going to lie. Traveling with a kiddo is an entirely different ball game. I’m exhausted from the weekend and I’m 8 weeks pregnant. I’m worried about Cruz a little bit, simply because he’s been acting so weird. I don’t believe in signs really, but is it a sign that we aren’t supposed to be here? Ha! When we’re outside and when he can run around, he’s a happy camper. I just don’t know what to make of this.

I’m just really exhausted physically and mentally. I’m praying for some clarity tomorrow (Sunday) because until now we seriously don’t have an answer either way as to what we want to do. Or what we should do. Or what God’s telling us to do. I’m just feeling completely overwhelmed and have to trouble shoot with Cruz like I’ve never had to before. All while keeping a smile on my face since we are in fact, being interviewed.

All I really want to do is take a five hour nap and watch HGTV all day long. Especially Color Splash. It’s my favorite.

So we are tired and running on empty a little bit. Please say a prayer for us if you think of it. I don’t remember the last time I’ve been this tired and anxious about our situation and really need some strength. It was just a long, weary day. And I’m ready to come home, know the plan and get working on moving. To either city we decide. I just want a decision. And to go to bed. And for Cruz to sleep all night long.

thoughts on leaving

23 Jan

I’m not saying that we are leaving. And by leaving, I mean leaving the state. But the opportunity is there. And to be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about it quite yet. We have an amazing opportunity in the state, and a huge part of me would rather just stay put. A small part of me thinks the adventure of moving out of state would be fun. But I don’t know.

Most of you know, we have been searching for a new church community since we left the church we were previously at. And in so many, many ways, being let go of that church was the biggest blessing of our lives. There’s been an amazing amount of freedom upon our leaving and God has opened so many doors for us. He’s revealed so many things to us that just reminds us that He has protected us. We’ve never been in a better spot, which is weird because we’ve been unemployed for the past 4 months. But it’s been the least stressed out we’ve been in a very, very long time. It’s been a time of breathing for us and watching God take our steps for us.God has started opening doors for us since the very hour of the layoffs. Ask me about that story sometime, cuz it’s a good one! We’ve currently seriously narrowed it down to two opportunities that we are considering. And it’s going to be a tough, tough decision. One that we are weighing very, very carefully.

The opportunity we have out of state is in Seattle, Washington at what we’ve been told is an amazing, thriving, God filled church. Different climate, different culture, different people. Something about it just really sounds adventurous and exciting. We are heading there in a little over a week to meet the staff, see the church and to view the city. And I’m really scared. I’m scared I’m going to just love it and I’m not sure I want to move!

I love what we are doing in Arizona right now with our photography business. The community where Jay might be working is truly a community that I am deeply, deeply in love with. A community and a church that gets me more excited than I have been about church in ten years. I’m not kidding, I absolutely love it. I can’t imagine us anywhere else. But we need to see Seattle in order to make a good decision and I am so grateful that the timing of events is allowing us to still go visit there before we have to decide.

So the future is still a little bit unclear for us. We have some tough decisions ahead of us. Decisions that involve elements that most people don’t know about. Please pray for us if you think about it. We desperately want to do what’s best for our family- no matter what people are suggesting we do. No matter how amazing everyone says Seattle is. No matter how badly people want us to stay here. Please pray that we would look at the factors in our life and make a good, clear decision for our family.

And I promise to keep you posted.

childlike faith

7 Oct

Cruz at 11 Months

This little face is what keeps me going. I mean, honestly. During a time when I have moments where I want to just crawl back into bed and sleep the day away, I’m reminded (by this sweet face) that I am apart of something bigger here. Something that has nothing to do with me.  I have a little guy who’s relying on me and on us.

And this little face makes us smile all day long.

He has no concept of the stress we are going through. He has no idea the things we are discussing, deciding, praying over. He has no care in the world- unless he’s hungry, tired or poopy. He just trusts us- no matter where we take him- to meet all of his needs. Everyday.

This is the childlike faith that I am learning all over again.