Tag Archives: childhood

hands free

13 Jun

Is anyone else addicted to their iPhone? Does your ENTIRE LIFE exist in it? Do you rely on it A LOT? I do. If my computer exploded, aside from editing photos, I could do the VAST MAJORITY of my work from my phone. That’s pretty neat, if you ask me. That we live in a time and place in history that we are able to enjoy little gadgets like that. And that they enrich our lives as much as they do and help us to be productive.

But lately, Jason and I have been having a heated conversation about whether or not it’s super healthy to be on our phones as much as we are. I say ‘heated’ because it causes me to get a little defensive for some reason (red flag #1). It’s been a good, healthy debate- don’t get me wrong. Weighing the pros and cons of how much we actually use our phones, how often we should be on them, and what it takes away from socially sometimes.

And what it’s taking away from our kids. Yikes.

He shared a blog post that I’m going to share with you today. You may or may not have read it. But holy moly, it is convicting. It makes me wonder exactly how much am I missing in my kids lives, just because I am on my phone. It reaffirmed the conversations that Jay and I have had about how you can be in the room, but not really there. Not listening. Not connecting. Because there is an entire world on the internet that is always distracting me, pulling me in another direction, and vying for my attention. All while two little boys of mine are vying for my attention too. And they don’t know anything about the world wide web.

And nor do they care.

They are going to grow up before my eyes. And I am going to miss it if I am always on my phone. I am going to regret it if all I do is pin stuff, Instagram stuff, and ‘Like’ every status known to man. But I WON’T regret being there for them. I WON’T regret watching them grow up. The internet is always going to be there in some form. But my small, little boys won’t always be. I don’t want them to remember their mom with a phone always in her hands. I want them to remember me as a mom who played with them. Who was silly with them. One who tickled them and made them laugh until they couldn’t laugh anymore. I don’t want them to think I was too busy ‘working’ that I couldn’t build legos with them.

I need to put my phone down more often during the day.

This article was super convicting to me. I’m not saying that being on the phone during the middle of the day or when your kids are awake is a bad thing. BUT, I am suggesting that you read this blog post and figure out what this might mean for your own life with your own kids. There’s a lot of things I HAVE to do during the day through my phone because of the nature of my job and because I have toddlers. I work a lot and at very random times during the day. But is it out of control? Am I too busy on my phone to actually SEE my kids? Am I missing huge parts of their childhood, even though I’m a stay at home mom? That’s what I’m sorting through right now.

Read the blog post HERE. And then make your own conclusions. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

terrible twos

26 Jul

Cruz has been exhausting, to say the least. We’ve been going through some sort of weird ‘I don’t want to sleep, eat, or be nice to ANYONE’ phase. Some call it the terrible two’s. I’m thinking we are headed for the terrible THREE’S as well.


I’ve had several days with him in the past few weeks that I think were the hardest I’ve had YET as a mom. It all started because he had a nightmare about a month ago that REALLY freaked him out. So now he’s afraid to go to bed without his nightlight on, ALL his stuffed animals, music playing AND the door cracked open. It’s ok, I can handle the ‘afraid of the dark’ phase. But when you’re toddler is waking up in the middle of the night, when he hasn’t woken up in the middle of the night since he was EIGHT WEEKS OLD, it’s kinda hard. I can handle it for a few nights- I mean obviously. Kids wake up when they’re scared, sick, hungry etc. But I don’t even understand how people can continue to wake up in the middle of the night with their kids past the itty bitty infant stage, aside from the occasional waking up. It’s HARD. Plus, he can kind of reason with us, so he wouldn’t just wake up and cry it out in his crib. He’s not even in a crib. We have to lay with him, console him, get him water and try to talk him in (or fight with him) to go back to sleep. And to reassure him that he’s safe. And to make sure he’s comfortable and not afraid.

But what turned into waking up afraid, started becoming a habit. And he started waking up in the middle of the night because he was used to it.

NOOOOOOOO, was my response. I could only pray that this wasn’t going to be our new normal.

And it wasn’t. Things have gone back to somewhat normal. He’s eaten a TON over the past couple days, is taking good naps again, and isn’t waking up in the middle of the night anymore. Praise God. I haven’t gotten up that much with either of my kids since Rider was WEEKS old. And that was almost a year ago. Yikes.

His attitude has been ANOTHER. STORY. Wowzers.

People tried to prepare me for the attitude of a two-almost-three year old and I didn’t really think it would get THAT bad. But he’s never tested my patience as a HUMAN BEING more. I mean, I had a few days where I would BEGIN the morning in tears because he was just so difficult. I mean, crying, fussing, yelling, tantrums, hitting, talking back. There were lots and lots and lots of time outs in my house. And when you’re doing time outs and disciplining all day, it really can start to wear on you. When you feel like ALL you’re doing to disciplining, it’s very draining. But the alternative is a misbehaved child that grows into an adult that didn’t learn anything from his parents. So I stood my ground to him and tried to win the battles of his newfound stubbornness. But let me tell you, that was probably the hardest stretch I’ve gone through with him yet.

We’re hoping he’ll get it out of his system now and that he’ll be an awesome teenager. For real.

So I think the worst is behind us, at least of THAT attitude streak. He’s giving us a break for now. Which is good because we weren’t quite sure how much more we could take. I wish I had video of how truly hard he’s been. If you know my Cruz, you probably aren’t believing me about how hard it’s been. He’s always been so good! We couldn’t figure it out. BUT. Things have gotten better. We’ve changed a few things up for him and so I think that helped too.

Plus, I think he’s ready to potty train. And I think he knows it. But he’s too stubborn to try to do it. But I think it will help boost his confidence tremendously once he does that. We are going to California in two weeks and so I’ll begin the training once we are home.

Lord help us all, right?

So that’s where I’ve been. But we are on the up of a difficult month for Cruz. Obviously, he still has some attitude that we have to keep in check daily. HE’S TWO. But it’s tremendously better than it’s been. And I’m sleeping an interrupted sleep again. Which is good because I was for real about to go bonkers.


25 Sep

We got Cruz this new toy. I’m not sure if it was a good idea or not. The jury’s still out on that one. BUT, we did decide to get him his own little drum because he LOVES drums. He loves anything musical really, and we are trying to figure out if it’s a legitimate ‘love’ of his or if it’s just a phase and something that will pass. I know it’s too soon to tell what he’s going to be into as he grows up, but I figure that it’s a good idea to grasp onto anything they show interest in because you just never know, right? I mean, what if he’s supposed to be a world famous drummer someday? And what if we miss the boat simply because we didn’t nurture his interests when he was young? Ha. Ok, I know that is extreme. But when any of my kids shows any form of interest in anything musical, I’m going to be anything but discouraging.

So for now he’s into drums. And it is LOUD. I can’t imagine having a whole set in the house. That day will come, I’m sure. But for now, it’s this little toy drum that he cannot get enough of!


3 Nov

Cruz is now giving us kisses. And it’s the best thing ever.

I can look right at him and say, “Cruz, can mommy have a kiss?” And I’ll pucker my lips up and he’ll lean in (with his mouth still open cuz he doesn’t know how to pucker his lips) and he’ll plant one on me. I love it so much that I ask him for ‘kisses’ all day long.

Tonight he totally got fed up with me asking for kisses. I can’t blame the kid. I seriously ask him all day long because it’s the cutest thing ever. But he gave me this look tonight that said, “Mom? Seriously?”

I just told him (as he crawled away from me) that I don’t care how old he is, he’s not ever going to be too big or too cool to hug and kiss his mother.

Cruz and MommyCruz and MommyHappy CruzSweet Boy

dear cruz,

31 Jul

This is my first official letter to you on this blog. I want to write letters to you from time to time because I am eventually going to turn this blog into a blog book- really so it can be a memory book for you someday. I want you to know who I was when you were a baby, all the things I liked, struggled with, laughed over. And most of all, I want you to know what you and mommy did while you were a baby- everything that we do every day while I’m home with you. 

You are the biggest joy and blessing in my life. You have already taught me so many things. This month I have learned a lot about friendships. You have taught me that the people I have in my life, and who are closest to me, are super important. The relationships that daddy and I have will help to influence you in your growing up. When I think about that, I realize that that is a really big deal. It’s changed me and made me really consider people in my life.  

This month has been really hard, but it’s been such a time of growth for mom. Dad and I always trying to figure out ways to make sure we pay our bills and take good care of you. It’s really made us rely on God and rely on each other a lot more. Sometimes it scares me, but I just take one look at your little face and I’m reminded that I serve a God who loves you. He made you. And He will not forget you. And He has always given us much more than we could ever have asked for. Not always in the ways we thought, but in so many more ways that we ever thought possible. He’s used so many people in our lives who love & support us. So many people who love you. 

So I’ll take the ‘hard’ every month if it means I get to be home with you, watching you grow. I’ll take the unknown and the fear from time to time. Whatever comes, little guy, just know that there are so many people who love you. So many people who love US. 

We will always take care of you… 

I love you …


Cruz & Mommy