Tag Archives: blogging

thinking before i speak

17 May

I just wrote up an entire blog post and decided to stop myself before I published it. For if I published it now, it would be out of a heated moment and about a topic that really gets me going. So instead of ranting and raving like a crazy lunatic with no self control, I’m going to BREATHE. Then, I’m going to edit my blog post a little bit and post it here once I’m not so worked up.

But for now, I leave you with this. For THIS is what I’d REALLY like to say to a few peeps today. But would regret it if I said it any other way:

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301 posts

9 Aug

Yes. It’s 4:30 am as I write this. I woke up to go to the bathroom and could not fall back asleep. Partly because I started thinking about the leftover chocolate covered Oreos that are in the kitchen left over from my shower. I’m completely resisting the urge to eat them right now because, well… wow. But then I got hungry and I couldn’t fall back to sleep. So I thought I’d blog to distract myself, but I’ll probably end up getting a glass of milk before I head back to bed, all while the Oreo’s are looking at and taunting me.

Yikes. Anyways.

This is my 301st post on this blog! Can you believe it? When I started my very first post ever, I didn’t think I’d have THIS much to talk about and say. Or that I have awesome readers like you following me! It’s been an amazing journey on this blog, and I like to remember that every time I reach another 100 posts. What a journey it’s been so far. I honestly think I was a completely different person in a lot of ways when I started this blog. This past year and a half has held A LOT of changes for us and I’ve changed and have grown a lot. The lessons I’ve learned have been unparallel to any other in my life, and I can’t say enough how grateful I am for the changes that have occurred for us.

I just ate a chocolate covered Oreo. Wow, it was totally worth it. Why did I agree to bring those home again?? Oh well. My strict diet starts in a few weeks once the baby’s born so I better enjoy it now, right?

ANYWAYS.

I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time (not just because I had a chocolate covered Oreo!) and wouldn’t have ever considered myself unhappy. But we are at a really, really great place right now. Sure, sometimes stuff is still hard. It’s life. It’s not ALL roses all the time. But I’m really thankful for things. I’m really appreciative of what I do have and grateful that God has directed our steps to here. And that He’s continuing to direct them further in our lives.

I’ve really learned who my true friends are. A few of my best friends threw me the most amazing baby shower yesterday (pictures coming soon!!) and while ALL the people I would consider true friends weren’t able to make it, so many of them did. And I literally took a second, looked around and was thankful for the friends that God’s placed in my life. It was such an amazing afternoon- I can’t wait to share all about it with you!

We’re like, moments away from having another baby. Another little boy, which has always thrilled me to no end. I’ve always seen myself a mom to all boys. And while if we have girls in the future I’ll be thrilled, if we don’t I won’t be surprised either! I can’t wait to meet Rider and to hold and snuggle and love him. I can’t imagine loving him as much as I love Cruz, but I obviously know he has an entirely separate place in my heart with more than enough love to share. And these past few days, I’ve really been able to see myself get REALLY excited for his arrival. Because up until now, I’ve been pretty nervous about having two boys so close in age. I know it will be great when they’re older, but I’m just thinking about what that is going to look like right now. Yikes. I see craziness in my future. But I’m so excited and feel so blessed that God would even give us another child. What an honor.

So life is good. I never thought we’d be here, up in Scottsdale, at SBC, two kids, in an apartment and loving every second. But that’s where we are. It’s completely amazing how you’re life can change in 301 posts. I’m so glad I started blogging. I’ve recorded some of the best and some of the worst days of my life here on this blog. And it’s given me an outlet, a new outlook, and sparked more creativity in me than I’ve had in years.¬†Thank you for reading and following my journey. Here’s to another 301 posts!

Now I’m going back to bed before I’m forced by Rider to eat anymore chocolate covered Oreo’s, which by the way, are simply to die for. Wow.

taking a break

1 Oct

I’ve had a significantly hard month. A couple hard things have happened that I am just not ready to talk about.

But believe me, I will talk about them. Once I’m ready.

So I’m taking a few days off of blogging. I just can’t blog about recipes and the cute things that Cruz is doing- pretending everything is all fine when really I’m upset. I am ok. We are ok. And I will explain about our month once I’ve gathered my thoughts, feelings and emotions.

I’m only taking a few days off. I love blogging. I love that I can be honest in this forum, but whatever I write right now won’t be honesty, because I will be being fake. And I hate that. And will come back once I’ve cooled off and thought through an accurate way to explain the couple things that have happened this month.

It won’t be a long break. But a break nonetheless.

100 posts

13 Aug

I have reached 100 blog posts!

It’s pretty crazy considering that just a few months ago I was completely anti-blog. Jason would always try to convince me to blog, “You’ll love it,” he’d say, “It’s just like journaling.” But I would always stand my ground and refuse to start a blog.

Until I caved and started this blog.

I think starting this blog could have been one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life. That might sound weird and a little extreme to you, but it’s really helped me in a lot of ways. It’s helped me to get out of a creative funk that I’ve been in for the past 5 years (yep, you read that right- 5 years). It’s helped me to actually journal again and get my creative and not so creative thoughts out. It helped give me direction when we were at the beginning of dreaming of our photography business. It helped me to dream again; to wonder what I could write about tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. It got me thinking about my thoughts again- and channeling them somewhere. It helped me to think about something other than being a mom.

Even though this blog is all about my journey as a mom.

When I had Cruz, I saw myself start to stop being Jessica and start just being a mom. It’s so easy to slip into that, especially if you stay home. I saw myself start to go there, and it scared me. It scared me and I didn’t know what to do to get out.

Even as I write that it sounds ridiculous! But it’s the truth. I was at the beginning of letting myself go. I was watching it happen, beginning with the inside, and I didn’t know what to do to stop it. I’ve told different people that this blog may have just saved my life, in a sense.

Yes, I know that’s extreme.

But it really gave me something to look forward to everyday. Something that was just for ME. It pulled me out of a creative funk and got the creativity flowing. It began something in me that has me where I am today. Today I can tell you that I am working full time at a job I desperately love as a photographer.

I don’t know if I would have ever gotten there, had I not started blogging. Had I not started writing out my frustrations, dreams and even products I like. It helped me to dream BIG. These past 100 posts have probably been the most significant days of my entire life.

So today, I am looking forward to hundreds more posts. I’m looking forward to hundreds more significant days. Hundreds more thoughts, dreams, stories, and recipes. I am excited for the future.

And it’s bright.

Cruz & Mommy @ 2 Months Old*Look how little Cruz is in this picture! He’s 2 months old- where does the time go?!¬†