your style

25 Apr


Isn’t it easy for this to be the first thing that flies out the window when you become a mamma? You’re exhausted because now you have a NON-STOP eater that won’t sleep AT ALL at night. Your body is different because well, you just gave birth to a human being. If you’re nursing, then you most likely feel like your body is not your own and you’re trying to navigate feeding your child and all the frustration that can go with that. If you’re working, then you have a million other things to think about, not to mention grocery shopping, cleaning, play dates, clipping coupons, focusing on your marriage, cooking- THE LIST GOES ON.

It’s really hard to remember that the ‘style’ that you had pre-baby is just as important, maybe MORE important, than it was before you had kids!

I realize you might think I’m crazy that this even made it into this series that I’m doing. I’m supposed to be talking about how to make being a working/stay-at-home mom LESS stressful in your life. Not adding more things to it. But I really think that the success of the working/stay-at-home mom is linked to this. Obviously, you can be successful at this without focusing on your style. But I really think that it makes a huge difference in ones morale. Staying focused, or at least aware, of your style can be essential to your self-esteem as a mom. I think it really helps you to feel like a WOMAN. And not just a MOM.

This is a constant juggling battle for me. I don’t have TIME to sit and sift through fashion magazines. I don’t have an endless cash flow to throw at a new wardrobe every time I have a baby, or any time I want. I don’t have time to sort through countless racks of clothing to find what I’m looking for. I don’t even have a lot of time to online shop. So it’s hard to stay on top of the latest and greatest fashions that are walking down the runway. Although I love that stuff and have good intentions of staying on top of it. Truth is, we are all just BUSY, you know? We are exhausted. And putting on makeup is just not the first thing I think about every day anymore. It’s not just ME I’m thinking about. I have 3 other people that I immediately think about when I wake up in the morning. Little people who scream for breakfast and who need it ASAP and DON’T CARE if my eyelashes are curled or not. Fashion and style for me? It’s hard to find the time.

But this tip made it into this series because I strongly, STRONGLY believe in being more than just a mom. I know you love being a mom. I love it too. And I realize that having children completely changes who you are in all aspects of your life. I am a completely different person than I was before Cruz was born. It changes everything about who you are. At least it did for me. But the truth is, I am still ME. And I’ve had to sort of figure out who I am now that I have children, but I am still ME. I am still a woman who likes pretty things and deserves to feel like a woman and not just as someone who EVERYONE needs something from every minute of the day. It’s been so important to me to try and put myself together every day in a way that I can feel comfortable with two little guys climbing up my legs, but still feel like I look pretty! It’s important to me.

This is actually one thing that I learned by example from my own mom. She is beautiful. And she always, ALWAYS made sure to stay looking her best. She always took (and still takes!) pride in her appearance. And now I understand it. She knew that she was still a woman after me and my sisters arrived. She knew that it was important for her marriage that she keep up with her appearance. She knew that focusing on herself just a little bit each day didn’t make her a bad or selfish mom.

It made her a better mom.

One who was confident about herself, her appearance and her life. She was in control, putting herself first for a few minutes as she got herself ready. The rest of the day was ours. I watched her do this and it might sound weird to you, but it really resonated with me. So much so that I hope that I can be this same example to my boys so that someday they will look for and find wives who share the same values and cherish their appearance- before and after kids arrive! So today, although it’s hard somedays, it’s a huge value of mine. Is it superficial? Absolutely not. Me putting myself first and taking a shower, putting on my makeup and an outfit that I can feel confident in only makes me a better wife and mother. I can stand a little taller, smile a little bigger, and confidently know that even though I am a mom and it’s a gigantic part of what I do, it’s not ALL that I do.

It’s not ALL that I am. And that’s OK.

So I encourage you. Paint your toes that funky bright color you’ve been fearing! Get a pair of earrings that are totally outrageous! Or at the very least, make time to put your makeup on every day if it’s what will make you feel pretty. You deserve it! You are one hard working mamma who deserves to put herself first for a few minutes every day. I promise that your kids won’t suffer if you focus on your sense of style for a few minutes every day. They will probably watch you like I watched my mom, in awe of how pretty she is and wanting to be exactly THAT for my kids someday.

You’re still a woman even though you have kids. And it’s totally ok to shave your legs and put lip gloss on.

And PS: This is my favorite lip gloss of. all. time. It’s Beauty Rush Lip Gloss from Victoria’s Secret.

4 Responses to “your style”

  1. tGk April 25, 2011 at 2:21 pm #

    Great tip!!! I am like you, I like to take the time to look at least presentable! My mom is the same way yours is, plus I also like to know that my husband’s eyes are only for me…sweats and an oversized t-shirt doesn’t cut it 🙂

    • jesswilliams April 25, 2011 at 2:48 pm #

      Totally agree!!! Thanks for commenting girl! 😉

  2. Christine April 25, 2011 at 3:16 pm #

    Soooo… what if I never had a sense of style to begin with? Ha!

    • jesswilliams April 25, 2011 at 3:23 pm #

      bahaha!! Oh Christine! You totally have a sense of style!! I just want you to feel pretty- whatever that means for you!! 😉 xo

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