on repeat

15 Dec

I went through a time in my life, not too long ago, where everything- EVERYTHING made me anxious. I could take no thought captive. I couldn’t sleep well. I worried about everything. Stupid things, important things, real things, made up things. I was anxious about it all. Past, present, future. Things that already happened. Things that hadn’t happened. Things I feared would happen. It’s no way to live.

I am going through a similar time in my life. Taking thoughts captive is a huge struggle for me right now. What is prompting it? Nothing. Everything.

When I went through a time similar as now, Jason knew I was struggling big time. One morning when I got out to my car as I headed to leave to work, I noticed he had left a note in my car. I won’t say word for word what the note said. It’s special to me and I prefer to keep it that way. But he just wanted to encourage me in my anxiousness. He wanted me to know he was praying for me. And that he loved me. And that there wasn’t anything we couldn’t face together. He left a CD in my car that I listened to, on repeat, for no less than a month. Maybe more than that. The CD was Tim Hughes, Holding Nothing back album. It’s a phenomenal album and it is a reminder to me of God’s grace in my life when I’m struggling to rest in Him. It’s a reminder of how amazing my husband is. It’s a reminder that I’m being held, by the Creator, who sees my thoughts and knew about them before I even thought them.

One song imparticular holds a dear place in my heart. It’s called ‘Everything’, which is fitting. But I could pretty much sob every time I hear it. Sometimes I just sit and soak in the words. Sometimes I repeat them as if I’m victoriously declaring the truths. Sometimes I just listen, as if God is actually speaking over me. Do I sound weird? I don’t care. It’s a constant struggle for him to be MY everything. This song is such a reminder that he needs to be my everything, in everything I do, say, speak… think.

Everything.

It’s on repeat today as I work. Such amazing words of hope. Amazing words of truth. And it’s soothes me to the core on days, weeks, months when I can’t get my thoughts and anxiety under control.

Check it out on iTunes. The album is amazing. That song is incredible.

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2 Responses to “on repeat”

  1. Sara Kelley December 16, 2010 at 2:44 pm #

    Thanks Jessica for sharing! I seem to be always going through these times of anxiousness and today is one of them, so you post is uplifting. I’ll have to check out the song! Thanks for sharing and know someone else is in the same boat with you.

    • jesswilliams December 17, 2010 at 4:20 pm #

      Thank you Sarah! Definitely check out the song, it’s such a good reminder of God’s grace and reminds me that He’s in everything! 🙂

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