28 years

14 Jul

28 years ago, I looked like this:

Now you don’t have to wonder where Cruz got his blonde hair from. HA!

It’s pretty crazy that another year has gone by. I was thinking tonight about how much our lives have changed since my last birthday post, and it’s actually pretty crazy the things that have happened in our life. I never thought we’d be here. I never thought that what should have been one of the hardest years of my life has actually been one of the best years of my life. When I wrote last years birthday post, life was going ok. I was happy to be beginning my career successfully as a photographer and able to stay home with Cruz. I was happy and trusting that God was being so faithful in our lives and trying to lean on Him while being a stay at home mamma. We were living paycheck to paycheck, Jay was working odd jobs to make ends meet, and we had a little boy who we loved more than I ever thought possible. I was also not happy with a few other aspects of our lives, frustrated with certain things, people, places and trying to rely on God regarding those things. I was praying for the answers as to when we’d be able to move on. But relatively loving life and still trying to adjust to being a new mom.

This was all before we lost our job, had a miscarriage, got pregnant again (with Rider), had to decide if we were going to accept a job in Scottsdale or Seattle, accepting the job in Scottsdale, moving to Scottsdale and now settling into what is now our normal lives.

It’s been a crazy ride. And as hard as it’s been (or could have been even), it has been one of the best years of my life. Things aren’t perfect. They won’t ever be perfect, let’s not be naive here. But God has just delivered us, protected us and provided for us in more ways that I ever could have imagined. On this day last year, I had no idea how much my world was going to be rocked in a couple short months. I had no idea how my life would be so different. And I had no idea how grateful I’d be. I feel so blessed to be where we are.

Last year, Cruz was the only child I had. This year, we are going to have another little boy that will bring even more light and laughter into our lives (if that’s even possible!) and a brother for Cruz. I’m actually at a church that I deeply love. A place where I’m excited to be and to serve. A place that values us and that shows us they value us. Our business is going so well, I still have to pinch myself because I feel like I’m dreaming most of the time with it. Being a photographer has allowed me to stay home with my kids, do something I love and be my own person- and not just a mom. It’s been the greatest blessing of my life. I can’t imagine why I waited so long to do it. We’ve moved communities and while I’m sad that we’re farther away from some friends, the community of friends we are building down here is quite amazing too. We are living in a comfortable apartment that we are actually very happy in. It’s such a comfy place- I don’t even really miss my Gilbert house much anymore! We are truly so blessed, even though getting to this place within the last year has taken a lot of trusting God, prayer and leaning on one another. There’s been a lot of times of uncertainty, tears, frustration, anger. But also of happiness, laughter and lots and lots of relief in many ways. God has been so good to us. Even in the moments that I wasn’t sure where our next paycheck was going to come from, He proved to be faithful to us.

Why do I ever doubt?

It’s amazing the difference a year can make. And the difference that this year has made has meant the world to me. There’s been so many changes for us and so much transition. Not to mention the changes that are still on their way (Rider!). And I’m grateful for every single one.

So today I’m not sad about getting another year older. If every year could be like the last one I had, even in it’s hard moments, then I hope I can get older for many, many more years. What an amazing and great year. And even if 28 isn’t as great of a year, I have learned that trusting God is the best way. That He will always be faithful, even in moments when you aren’t sure if you’ll be able to pay the bills. And that He gives me blessings everyday in my fabulous family. And as hard as being a mom is at times, every day I get to take care of this little guy and his brother that is on the way. And there is nothing greater than being able to walk into his room to see him fast asleep, comfortable, secure, and knowing that he is more loved than any other little kid out there.

I have so much to be grateful for this birthday. And I wouldn’t change a single thing about this life I’m living. Happy Birthday to me! My life is one that is so blessed.

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8 Responses to “28 years”

  1. Sheri Stribling Williams July 14, 2010 at 6:14 am #

    Happy Birthday Jessica!! I love you!

    • jesswilliams July 14, 2010 at 8:39 am #

      Thanks mom! Love you too!

  2. Sara Kelley July 14, 2010 at 8:19 am #

    Wow Jess…you are only 28!!! Your post makes me feel old…have a wonderful day!

    Sara

    • jesswilliams July 14, 2010 at 8:39 am #

      haha! I didn’t mean to make you feel old!! 🙂 Thanks so much girl! And PS: You are NOT even close to old!!! xo

  3. Andrea July 14, 2010 at 8:36 am #

    Happy birthday, my dear, beautiful friend! You have had a roller coaster of a year, but your faith and God’s grace and provision carried you through. Your life is truly inspiring. Can’t wait to see you and celebrate on Saturday!

    • jesswilliams July 14, 2010 at 8:38 am #

      Thanks so much girl!! I can’t wait to see you too!! It’ll be a double celebration since I missed your party when Cruzer was so sick! I love you tons and your constant support and love in my life has seriously helped carry me! I love you!! xoxo

  4. Alex Evjen July 14, 2010 at 10:08 am #

    Wow, Jess! You have such a positive and encouraging outlook on life. So glad to be a part of it all! Happy birthday!

    • jesswilliams July 14, 2010 at 2:56 pm #

      Thanks Alex! Thanks for all your support and continued friendship. Couldn’t do it without you guys in our corner! Love ya! xo

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