weary day

7 Feb

I’m not really sure what’s going on. But it’s been a very, very difficult weekend for Cruz. I mean, he’s been really acting up and just extremely difficult this weekend. And if you know my kiddo at all, you know that he is anything but difficult. Even Jay, who characteristically gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, agrees that Cruz is just kind of being a terror this weekend.

And we can’t figure out why.

He had a difficult time on the airplane and never really recovered since we’ve gotten here. He’s still his happy self at times, but just being really naughty, moody, fussy and difficult. Way more than usual. I can’t tell what the deal is. He hasn’t been eating well at all. Grapes. The kid has been filling up on grapes. But he doesn’t really want much else- even his favorites! He’s drinking a lot of milk and water, so that’s good at least, because I know he’s hydrated. And at least he’s getting some nutrients from the milk. He’s not sleeping super well. We were up and down with him last night and couldn’t figure out why. He has a small diaper rash. Is it his teeth? I haven’t ruled it out, but he’s not drooling like he usually does when his teeth are bugging him.

*sigh*

I’ve almost had a breakdown a few times while we’re here, I’m not going to lie. Traveling with a kiddo is an entirely different ball game. I’m exhausted from the weekend and I’m 8 weeks pregnant. I’m worried about Cruz a little bit, simply because he’s been acting so weird. I don’t believe in signs really, but is it a sign that we aren’t supposed to be here? Ha! When we’re outside and when he can run around, he’s a happy camper. I just don’t know what to make of this.

I’m just really exhausted physically and mentally. I’m praying for some clarity tomorrow (Sunday) because until now we seriously don’t have an answer either way as to what we want to do. Or what we should do. Or what God’s telling us to do. I’m just feeling completely overwhelmed and have to trouble shoot with Cruz like I’ve never had to before. All while keeping a smile on my face since we are in fact, being interviewed.

All I really want to do is take a five hour nap and watch HGTV all day long. Especially Color Splash. It’s my favorite.

So we are tired and running on empty a little bit. Please say a prayer for us if you think of it. I don’t remember the last time I’ve been this tired and anxious about our situation and really need some strength. It was just a long, weary day. And I’m ready to come home, know the plan and get working on moving. To either city we decide. I just want a decision. And to go to bed. And for Cruz to sleep all night long.

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3 Responses to “weary day”

  1. Shea Williams February 7, 2010 at 9:00 am #

    I am sure that Cruz is confused about what is going on. All the things around him are different and new to him. His dog and cat are missing!!! I am sure when you all get home, he will sleep like crazy and be back to his old self very soon. Hang in there, life as you know it will return in no time.

    • jesswilliams February 7, 2010 at 1:52 pm #

      Thanks Mom! We’re pretty tired for sure, but I think you could be right. He’s probably pretty confused. And we all miss Audio and Louie for sure. haha

  2. Carrie February 7, 2010 at 4:30 pm #

    I’m so sorry you’re having a rough weekend with Cruz. It’s really probably a combination of traveling, and sensing some of your stress and exhaustion from pregnancy, and you and Jason’s nervousness and uncertainty. I can’t believe how they pick up on things. Throw in the fact that he can’t really ask what’s going on, it’s just very frustrating to be a one year old. Praying for you 3, for clarity, understanding, and SLEEP.

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